The only thing stopping me from leaving is that i dont know where ill go. When you dont believe the pathways the street signs never seem to show. So ill walk to the unmarked path hoping for an end. Where there might be someone there. A lover. A mother. Brother or a friend. There are no turns no hills no valleys no rivers or lakes. Just this one endless track for those that life forsakes. What vista may lay beyond the horizon. Could there be something exhilarating for me to rest my eyes on. Could there be a sunrise coming to play. Could this yawning inducing dawning me drifting away. Do i dare believe im seeing a brand new day. One with light, and warmth and life. I life where i holds another and puts down the knife. Do i dare rub my eyes for i believe theyre decieving. Do i trust something that by experience is fleeting. Has the been a dream and ive finally waken. Or has all this time ive just mistaken. Into believing i was dreaming. When really i was living and now is the time for redeeming. Is this judjement day. My court case. My final hearing. Is this the part where i should be god fearing. If you ask me if i were i would respond with thats dumb. The fear of fear itself makes me numb. Numb just to the eye for my facade is strong. That mask has been all ive known for so long. The most consistent comfortable familar thing ive known. The only part of me that is acceptable to be shown. The confusion and frustration i hide might puzzle and perplex your mind the way it does mind. There are no answers as these are not questions just words ive spoken. Recited through my core like a mantra unbroken. Like a spell that binds and constricts my emotional growth. That wont let the sound of laughter come out of my throat. This spell is a constraint that robs you of will, with only one mission it aims to kill.
Posted on: Sat, 27 Dec 2014 11:51:01 +0000
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