The other day I received very two very opinionated message from people. One gave me advice as to how I should run my Facebook profile and the other one was that I let someone down because they sent me a Facebook invite for a birthday party that I didnt respond too. Oops, my bad. That same day, my friend, who’s more like a sister than a friend, told me she’d been angry with me about something for four months. I’d had no idea. I listened to what she had to say and did my best not to defend myself but, (a) I truly didn’t remember saying what she’d said I said, and (b) It didn’t make sense to me why she was upset, even after she spent 47 minutes explaining. Still later that night, I got a lecture from my oldest (hormonal) pre-teen daughter that I just dont understand her and how I need to stop nagging so much about balancing school work with volleyball. Apparently, she can handle it. I wanted to get back in bed and zipper my mouth shut. I wanted to stop trying to what I think is best as a parent and just take the easy route, and I felt like I wanted to shut down my Facebook page. I felt swallowed by life. I gave myself seven minutes or so of feeling sorry for myself. Then an email from a great friend came through and said.... “Jen, I allow myself 15 minutes to feel like BEEP. Then I say BEEP it and move on. Its taken me years to get this good at it. Years of tears and self-loathing. Have a donut and a cookie and move on. JK, I know you wouldnt even consider the donut or cookie it, but you get my point, get over it!!” And then I remembered what I know to be true but sometimes forget: you cannot be everything to everyone. You cannot make everyone happy. Just a little reminder today for you. (Who am I kidding? It’s for me, too.) For all of us. You cannot be everyones friend, mentor, companion, lifeline, confidante, airport picker-upper, publisher, soulmate, meal ticket, patter-on-the-backer, lover, mother, feedback giver, wine pourer, yoga buddy, movie date, editor, nail polisher, fiasco fixer. Not everyone will like you. You wont like everyone. Let me reiterate: You ABSOLUTELY cannot make everyone happy. (So stop trying.) Its a no-win situation. Itll drain you. People will be disappointed for various (often weird) reasons. Sometimes those reasons will make sense, sometimes not. Sometimes those reasons will be fair and sometimes fair is just another word for a place where they have funnel cakes and roller coasters. So stop worrying so much. There is most definitely someone out there who doesnt like you or feels youve failed them. But, on the bright side, the really blinding bright side, the I-need-my-glasses-this-BEEP-is-so-bright-side, there are many people who love you, who think youre the greatest thing since sliced bread, who couldve never made it through X, Y and Z without you, who trust you, who care for you, who would lay down in front of a Mini Cooper for you, who think you are as hot as Gisele Bündchen, regardless of what you look like on the outside. Just look at you, your greatest thing since sliced bread, Gisele-ish person, you. So lets do our best to keep moving forward with less second guessing and worrying, less I-wish-everyone-loved-everything-I-said/did/wrote/wore. Less, I am a bad/mean/awful person because I had to say NO. Lets try not to intentionally hurt others but for the love of sliced bread (gluten free of course LOL), lets give up worrying so much, people pleasing, and all the other time-sucking, love-wasting, energy-vampirish things we do. Heres to being human. My coffee mug to yours. :)
Posted on: Sat, 29 Mar 2014 14:13:51 +0000
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