The outer door of my office opened, then closed. I waited, listening for steps, for a knock on the inner office door. Nothing. I figured someone must have looked in, realized it was the wrong place, and left. I hadn’t a client in a week. I opened open the lower desk drawer and pulled out the bottle of Old Noob and heard a soft knock on the door. The bottle went back, my feet came off the desk, I straightened my tie. A little fellow with an enormous head and thick glasses stood nervously clutching a large manilla envelope. “Mr. Spade? The investigator?” His voice quavered like a cheap accountant’s at an IRS audit. “Yes sir. I am Sam Spade. Please come in and have a seat.” “Thank you.” I pulled the more comfortable chair over to the desk and he sat. His suit was twenty years out of date, which didn’t bother me since all my items were from themes somewhen in the first half of the 20th century style, and the steampunk stuff is even older. He sat nervously, clearly unsure how to begin. “Let’s start with a name. Most folks use them, and I insist all my client do.” “Oh! Yes! I am Madzie Eintist.” “I would like you to investigate a crime. The police won’t take me seriously, even though I have a photo of it happening. It is horrible. The victim is being torn apart, literally... interior... uh... guts... blowing out. I hope you can help identify the cause of this horrendous effect. I hope you are an investigator I can rely upon.” “I can give it a try.” “It is my belief that there are two kinds of people in the world... Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.” I waited. And waited. Suddenly he burst out laughing so hard tears rolled out from beneath those thick lenses. “I’m sorry Mr. Spade. I have so desperately wanted to tell that joke for so very long.” I sighed. “Yes, well. I see you have an envelope there. Is it the photograph you mentioned? Perhaps you can let me see it?” He handed the envelope to me. “As you can see the guts are being spread out and leaving a bluish trail. If I can discover the cause it would put my name in the the text books!
Posted on: Wed, 26 Mar 2014 17:28:52 +0000