The phone was a delightful joy in my household growing up. When it rang, my siblings and I would scramble off the couch and bolt to pick it up. Each time the phone rang turned into an all-out brawl between my siblings over who could grab it first. And who could it be on the other line???? Wed each shout out who we thought it was and the winner got first dibs on the next game on Nintendo. Now, when I visit my parents, when the house phone rings, everyone is like SOMEBODY PICK UP THAT STUPID PHONE. WHY WOULD SOMEONE CALL THE HOUSE PHONE??? ITS PROBABLY A TELEMARKETER, JUST UNPLUG THE PHONE AND THROW IT AWAY. The house phone was also a source of anxiety. Id be on the phone talking to my friends, trying so hard to fit in and be cool. Then all of a sudden, my mom, in her airy high pitched South Asian accent that is endearing in every circumstance that doesnt involve me trying to be cool, would pick up the phone in the kitchen and be like My darling Amani beta, come downstairs for dinner. I made your favorite favorite dish, chicken korma! Mommy loves you very much. And my friends would start laughing and laughing and laughing. Then Id cover the phone receiver with my hand and scream downstairs MOM!!!! THE PHONE IS NOT AN INTERCOM! STOP COMING ON THE PHONE, YOURE EMBARRASSING ME IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS!!!! Oh and thank you for the chicken korma, I love you very much too. The worst was when I was on the phone talking to my friends, and my mom picks up and starts dialing. And of course shes dialing India so shes dialing like 29 different digits. So I would try to have a convo on the phone like So yeah, I got stuck on that video game level and -- BEEP BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP! MOM IM ON THE PHONE! HANG UP!!!!!!! My mom would never get the clue. Shed stay on the phone thinking she reached the person she called like Asalam alaikum Salma Aunty, how is your daughter doing? Meanwhile my friend is on the line like Huh? Hows my daughter? Ummm, im only 12 years old. And who is Salma Aunty? My name is Jonathan. Kids these days dont know what it feels like to be embarrassed. Like the worse theyll get embarrassed is like Omg, my mom totally tried to buy a song on iTunes with a promo code that didnt work. Yeesh, she is so old fashioned. Meanwhile, my mom is at home, sitting in front of a computer, placing her coffee mug on the CD-ROM drive and touching everything on the monitor thinking it works like an ATM at the bank.
Posted on: Fri, 25 Apr 2014 18:51:34 +0000
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