The power of self-confidence By Dr. Agoso “Arnobb” Huladeino Bamaiyi “One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation” – Arthur Ashe, former U. S. tennis player. Self-confidence, simply defined, is the attitude of believing in and acting purposefully on one’s inherent talents, gifts, abilities, expertise, etc., without self-imposed or externally-induced doubts, hesitations or fear of failure. It is the attitude that says, without giving heed to internal doubts or external discouragements, “I can do this because I am equipped and practically prepared for this.” It is neither pride nor recklessness – even though when taken to the extreme and acted upon without adequate preparation it can pose problems and smack of pride and recklessness - but an informed and calculated predisposition to purposefully attempt any project or pursuit at hand without hesitations or fear of failure. It is acting with the certainty that victory is secured by the preparation that has gone into the attempt. This type of attitude can mean the difference between success and failure, and if you want to go far and do great things in this life you must cultivate and deploy it in all your pursuits. Otherwise people and circumstances will play you around and hinder you from rising to your potential and realizing your dreams. My first suit ever - one that I bought with money I made myself - was a black, double-breasted, Italian coat. I cherished that suit because my writing ability made me money with which I purchased it. I was in secondary school when the Gongola State Ministry of Education, in conjunction with a federal agency, came up with a state-wide writing competition on specific topics. I and three other students in my school were selected by my school principal to enter the competition for the secondary category. An English language teacher was assigned to supervise us. We all met and the teacher laid out the rules. I selected a particular topic and immediately started work. After adequate research and information gathering, I began to write. After doing the writing, correcting and editing, my essay piece was ready in three days, with four days to spare from the one week that was allotted to us. I took it to my supervisor. He took a cursory look at it, made some condemnatory remarks and returned it to me with the instruction that I should thrash the whole thing and redo it. I felt hurt. How could this man who has not properly read my essay condemn it with a wave of the hand? I collected it and walked away feeling discouraged. After class hours, during prep, I brought it out and studied it over and over. The more I studied it, the more I was convinced I had a winner. I had covered all my bases very well with sufficient information, backed with relevant data, to convince any examiner that I knew what I was talking about. Besides, the technicalities of grammar and syntax were all in the right places. I made up my mind to resubmit it unaltered and to stand up to the supervisor, unless he could show me convincingly why I needed to rewrite the essay. He was not amused when I confronted him with the same piece, unaltered, the following day. He collected it and said nothing. I walked away knowing that I will soon face a storm but my mind was made up to weather the storm, come what may. I was confident of what I had put down on paper. If it meant that my essay will be withdrawn from the competition; then let it be. I was not going to rewrite it because my supervisor said so without showing me why. The following day, which was a Friday, my supervisor called me into the staff room for a meeting. He wasted no time calling me names and rehearsing his resume to me and telling me how I was nothing. “What or who gave you the temerity to question my judgment in the first place? Who do you think you are?” I stood in the front of his desk and stared back at him, saying nothing. I had concluded I had nothing personally against him. It’s his condemnatory opinion about my essay that I detested. There was, therefore, no point trading insults. Insubordination is not something I cherish. Besides, he could get me easily suspended. So I held my peace. He raved on and on and finally he brought out my essay and proceeded to criticize it. I listened carefully. He was harsh but could not say anything against the content and substance of the essay. He had issues with my style and not the technicality or substance of the essay. Well, I said to myself, sure you do not expect me to write like you, do you? My style is my trademark. Take that away and you take away my identity, and I am not ready to trade that away just to sooth your ego! I did not say my mind out loud, of course, but I was determined to stand my ground unless he could give me a good reason to shift ground. He was not giving me any, so far. Finally, he threw my essay at me with the instruction to go and rewrite it. I took it and placed it back on his desk and said: “I am confident that what I have written is ok. Sir, enter it as it is. If I do not win, it is my loss, not any body’s.” he was taken aback by my confident response, but then he replied that he was not going to submit it. I countered that if he did not, I will go over him and take it to the principal myself. He thought for a minute and then he took it and put it in a file. He then proceeded to give me a rough verbal thrashing before sending me out of his presence. Well, to cut a long story short, that same essay won me a prize of N200 (back in the days when one naira fetched two dollars!), a certificate and a state recognition! My colleagues, who allowed him to turn them around until they did not recognize their essays, got nothing. I got a handshake and a pat on the back from my principal, topped with a public recognition before the entire school during morning assembly. I went to a boutique and got me my first suit, a nice Italian coat, with part of the prize money! My confidence, based on adequate preparation and hard work, paid off handsomely. I know there are people who will characterize such self-confidence as pride or recklessness. I assure you it is neither of the two. I would have most-gladly obeyed my supervisor if he had given me concrete reasons to alter my submission. He did not. Instead he condemnatorily attacked me and my work. Now, that is unfortunate coming from someone who was supposed to help me become a better me. No teacher has the right to do that to any student. Teachers are supposed to help students become proud and confident of their creativity and to grow into better versions of themselves, not to kill their creativity and make them afraid or ashamed of originality. Any society that lack original thinkers will wallow permanently in mediocrity and smallness. Creativity and originality are important keys to invention and innovation which, in turn, are necessary ingredients of productivity and profitability. They help any society to grow. They are qualities that must never be compromised just to please narrow-minded men that are threatened by change and progress. To go far in life, you must maintain your self-confidence and develop it by constant use that result in a growing record of successes. William Bryan Jennings said as much. “The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experience behind you” – William Bryan Jennings (1860 – 1925), leading U. S. politician and former Secretary of State. This is important because, no matter the depth of your talent and the height of your IQ, if you lack self-confidence you are going to attempt only very little and so end up small in life. Only men of courageous self-confidence succeed outstandingly in life. “It is only necessary to have courage, for strength without self-confidence is useless” – Giacomo Casanova (1725 – 1798), famous Italian adventurer. As long as you keep your self-confidence, and not surrender it to faces and forces that work to belittle you, you will be king over your circumstance and destiny. Self-confidence, based on adequate preparation and God’s grace, will elevate you that much! “There can be no failure to a man who has not lost his courage, his character, his self-respect, or his self-confidence. He is still king” – Orison Swett Marden (1850 -1924), American inspirational author. If you want to do great things in life, develop and keep your self-confidence. Carry that attitude along with you wherever you go and whatever you do. It is a key prerequisite to being and doing great. Samuel Johnson (1709 – 1784), the preeminent English author, critic and lexicographer, says as much: “Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings” – Samuel Johnson. Walk the path of life with meaningful and constructive self-confidence – one based on adequate preparation and not empty boastfulness and pride – and you will eventually arrive at the estate of greatness with a mansion prepared just for you! Do not give up because of, or give in to, the stumbling blocks of criticism and distraction that litter the way. Walk around them or otherwise turn them to stepping stones to higher heights. Whatever you do, keep moving forwards and upwards with self-confidence. Do not give up the confident pursuit of your visions and dreams. You will get to the top. See you at the top. I love you
Posted on: Mon, 05 May 2014 10:48:23 +0000