The simple truth about emotional pain is that nothing can hurt you emotionally until you judge it as good or bad and place meaning upon what is done. It follows then that, to be virtually immune to emotional pain, you need to be able to do two things: 1. Stop judging things, and 2. Give things a meaning that will lift you up and not drag you down. It is easier said than done because judging and giving meaning are firmly entrenched as habits in our psyche. Understanding the other person’s true motives can help People never do anything with the intention of hurting another person as their true motive. It may seem that way, but people will never do anything good or bad for another person unless it first serves them. People are selfish So it’s not about hurting you, it’s about making themselves feel better. That’s right: it’s only a hurting person that lashes out and hurts someone else. In the same way, a person who feels love gives love It’s a simple way to understand behaviour – hurt people hurt people, while loved people love people. Now there is the instance where a hurt person will give love in order to get love, but that’s not the issue I am dealing with. Understanding that behind your partner’s hurtful behaviour is a person who is hurting gives you a new option: Instead of being hurt by their behaviour, you can choose to see the hurt in them and accept that the behaviour is nothing more than someone else’s injury. I am not saying that you should become responsible for someone else’s pain: what I am saying is that you should become responsible for your own. The major difference between physical and emotional pain is that emotional pain is self inflicted – it only happens when you judge something as hurtful – up until that point it doesn’t hurt you.
Posted on: Fri, 05 Jul 2013 09:33:20 +0000
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