The top five most pathetic NFL teams -- Week ten 1: Jacksonville Jaguars (1-8) The roar you heard and crinkling of paper was the paper masks being removed from Mighty Jag fans everywhere as the Jags captured their first win of the season, on the road, vs. the Tennessee Titans 29-27. Oh hell yes there must have been lots of Titans fans in the streets and in bars drinking bourbon after this loss. The Mighty Jags ran up the yardage 214 to 362 but despite the shortfall were still able to come out on top here. The Titans did all they could with four turnovers compared to two for the Jags and they even gave up their starting QB Jake Locker with an injured foot to help secure the first win for the Jags who improve to 1-8 on the season. Rumor has it that the Jags have sent scouts to Vegas to scour the sports books to see if it is too late to get down on the Jags getting to the Super Bowl and winning it while true sharpies are looking at the line on Titan coach Mike Munchak keeping his job after this loss. 2: Minnesota Vikings (2-7) The Vikings were able to hand the Washington Redskins a loss and moved up the food chain in doing so. We can excuse the win here as a simple distraction however as the Redskins may have been side tracked by the attack on the nickname of their team, the Redskins. The Vikes came roaring back on a 20-3 second half scoring outburst that the Skins simply had no answer to. Redskins QB R2D2, or RG3 as he is better known to his fans, (is that a sci-fi code name?) was able to throw for three TDs and rack up an impressive 281 yards in offense but it was the Vikings forcing Griffin into three straight incompletions from the 4 to hold on for a 34-27 victory Thursday night. Perhaps the quote of the game came right here. We cant let a team like that score that many points. Its totally on us. We were sleepwalking at times, linebacker Brian Orakpo said for the Redskins. Thanks Brian. 3: Tampa Bay (1-8) What the hell is going on here? On a Monday night game that many people decided to tune into the game show network instead, the Flubs were also able to notch up the first win of the season here to improve to 1-8 on the year. The pirate ship cannon was blasting all night as the Flubaneers were in total control of this one from the start. Not many times youll hear that one. The Flubs in total control but yes they were. Leading 15-7 at the half, it seems the Dolphins simply didnt show up for this game. But can you blame them? Rumors have it from unconfirmed sources that T.V. scripts as well as move scripts are being tossed around for the Dolphins to land leading roles in the new L.A. reality show featuring grown men going back in time and playing the parts of junior high athletes from the leave it to Beaver era. Gee whiz Mom, he bullied me. I just couldnt go to school today. As of deadline there is no official name for the show but thoughts are that perhaps Lying Incognito has the edge. 4: Dallas Cowboys (5-5) Hell yes Dallas fans everywhere will still tell you that the Cowgirls are still playoff bound and that their franchise QB, Tony Big Game Romo can lead the fearless team in blue to a postseason appearance. On the heels of a stunning 49-17 loss on Sunday night, the Cowgirls were outscored 21-7 in the second half as the Cowgirls offensive attack showed up to compile a massive 193 total yards. Problem is, their defense allowed the Saints 625 yards and that simply doesnt add up to a win at any level. The Cowgirls were held to a total of nine first downs as the Saints recorded 40 and once again ... well, you get the picture. 5: Atlanta Falcons (2-7) Getting their feet wet in our top five this week is the Atlanta Falcons, coming on the heels of a stunning and impressive loss to the Seattle Seahawks 33-10. Losing to the Seahawks is certainly no disgrace but when you do it at home and allow the road team to invade your turf and man handle you is another. The Falcons were outscored 23-3 at the half and 10-7 in the second as they dropped to an impressive 2-7. Seattle had their way with the Falcons with a total of 490 yards to the Falcons 226. As if that wasnt enough, the Falcons added one turnover to help season the loss.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Nov 2013 21:07:06 +0000
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