The understanding of my mother’s “agency” intertwined with - TopicsExpress

The understanding of my mother’s “agency” intertwined with domestic maternity contradicted the ideal New York had “taught” me. I never thought I needed a mom (I wondered if I had ever had one). Yet, my surrogate mother had defined her womanhood by being a mother, both for the children she raised and for the one she simply birthed. For me, being a girl is simply one of many traits that define me. For my mother, her ability to be pregnant, to procreate, shaped her entire life. It has given us an incredibly unique story, as well as the freedom to define “family” outside the traditional paradigm. When I stare in the mirror, I see her face, her cheeks, and her eyes looking back at me. Figuring out who I am in the context of my family feels like balancing nature and nurture. What keeps us together, despite utterly different perspective and experiences, is our fundamentally analogous personalities. We are both unapologetically opinionated, independent, and wary of acknowledge our own obstacles. We have completely different goals as women, but similar strategies and attitudes when we strive for them. thefeministwire/2014/07/surrogate-feminism/