The very things I have witnessed my own son do. would blow the minds of many............ how would you like to be trap into a home where all phones were stripped away. and all doors were barred. and watch your only child tell to you everything you simply were never ...................... the worst names on the face of this earth.... if that is not bad enough. how would you like to have to be made to watch why he inflected would after wound upon his self..... and if you screamed for help. he did so make sure he would inflect what could be a fatal would. and as well turn a knife upon you too. I have seen it all. When my husband died...... there was nothing any longer. NOTHING at all! i use to imagine this wonderful happy loving relationship with a child and the love he had for his mother. I now am wise enough to know that there are many who turn the other direction and to many substances that worsen their frame of mind. I never ever denied my son a thing. I would go without so that he could have......... I did so after his fathers death. He became harder and totally scary to be around........... even though I thought perhaps there had been an intervention on his part.............. something else had a grasp of him that was stronger then a mothers love could ever be. after his ordeals of hurting his own body. he would be arrested in the end. because of a neighbor calling due to the noise he made. not caring who heard him. or he would walk out the door as if nothing had happen why I sit shaking with no control of any part of my body from the very destruction I had seen..... and this happen to me. my child...... . not you. me.. and I will never ever be able to understand how a person could do such. and care so little about his self or his mother who did so try everything in order to keep love from taking a turn to the wrong. You have no idea...... There is nothing I can do any longer. Nothing but write about what I have been through. death is easier to take then to be made to watch a child you love bring to his self so much harm that you to are so placed in a permanent state of shock by this all. I will never be ripped off. But there has been so much other that will remain as a ghost that haunts me if I dare let my mind enter that area that holds memorys which one so would love never to have been witness too.
Posted on: Thu, 07 Nov 2013 12:43:18 +0000
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