The words resonate in my mind, like a ball bouncing off walls, making too much noise but not rendering me comprehensible to anyone but myself. So much to say yet so little nerve to say or write it to a degree of frustration similar to none. Its not about the nerve, its about saying it in the proper manner of delivery, be it to children or elderly, the reasoning of each being not exactly the same as mine. And yet I write paragraph after paragraph without reaching a point, making what I am writing a waste of words on an empty canvas..... And the meaning I am trying to communicate stays dormant inside of me, not because I did not get it out, but because yet again, it has defeated me when I tried to invade its space, and stayed in, as if to tell me you are not ready!. I did not fail to tell you my idea, I simply succeeded in letting you in on it... I strive for words I mostly lack, for a meaning that has been inside for far too long, and that I yet have not determined or defined.... Yet here I am pouring my mental ink into your spill of organized thoughts! I am sorry about the chaos I am encouraging, but I would rather invade your mind, rather than your home.... Not via fear or terrorizing, but via words of all languages, to try and create a flow of understanding, yet I seem to swallow my deepest thoughts and tell myself at the end of each sentence you are not ready! But maybe I am telling myself that! Maybe I am thinking you are not ready, but not telling you to your face. Maybe it is you who are not ready to see how my brain works.... And yet I take the time to write it on a virtual wall, hoping that some real eyes see it, and see more than it! Get it?
Posted on: Sat, 30 Aug 2014 06:40:29 +0000
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