There are some traditional sayings that one may hear in the midst of tragedy. These words could be theologically accurate (although some are not) but are not helpful to the hearts of the one hearing them. The intentions of the speaker are usually in the right place, but their words are not. 1) “I know exactly how you feel.” This is not true. Every person is different. Every relationship is different. Every circumstance is different. Even if the situation seems to be very similar, all you can do is try to empathize with that person. It’s better to say, “I know this hurts, and I’m here for you.” 2) “It was just their time to go.” Well, maybe it was. But knowing that doesn’t make you hurt less. How about saying, “This is tough, and I’m here for you.” 3) “I’m just glad you’re safe.” It’s probably true that most, if not all, people are glad to be alive after disasters. But this saying can seem insensitive to someone who has to start all over completely. It’s easier to hear if you say something like, “You’re important to me, and I’m glad you’re safe. This is going to be difficult, but I’m here for you.” 4) “It’s just stuff.” Again, this is true. But, that “stuff” belonged to somebody. That “stuff” represented memories, experiences, lives, wishes and dreams that can’t be replaced. And when you have your first child and miss that blanket that your great-grandmother crocheted for you before she passed away, it’s more than just “stuff.” How about saying something like, “This is really stinky. I’m so sorry. I’m here for you.” 5) “Well, this just builds character.” These kinds of remarks inadvertently convey the idea that there was something so obviously wrong with someone’s character that God sent a natural disaster to make it better. Yes, we all have flaws, and struggles can strengthen our faith, but this comment is just insensitive. Something along the lines of “I know this may shake your faith, and I’m praying that God’s presence will be very evident to you. I’m here for you.” 6) “You just have to trust God’s plan.” Let’s be honest: this truth can be difficult to grasp even when you’re not standing in the middle of death, splintered wood, or floating furniture. Although a very true statement, times of tragedy can cause even a solid believer to wrestle with God. Let’s try something like this, “I don’t understand why this happened, but God hurts with you, and I’m here for you.” Great Article Here: studentlife/blog/responding-to-tragedy/
Posted on: Tue, 23 Jul 2013 20:55:10 +0000
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