Theres been some folks saying (about a particular video of a woman getting catcalled), well, she asked for it, she walks like a victim, if you look strong they will pass you by. Sometimes thats true, and sometimes it isnt. There were times, when I was homeless, where I gothed up and put a badass front and was left alone. I was able to project enough scariness that even in a crowded LA bus terminal at 3 AM, nobody would come near me. But sometimes thats not enough. Sometimes creeps follow you anyway. Sometimes they grab you. Sometimes they try worse. If theres a better victim nearby they will pass you by, but at the same time, saying, I walk like a badass so they passed me by still puts the burden of being victimised on that other girl across the street. She might be weaker, she might be disabled (disabled women are frequently victimised), she might be traumatised from a prior assault, she might be abused by her family at home, she might have an invisible illness, she might have all kinds of things. Why is that HER fault? Was it my fault when, because I developed early, I started getting followed by men when I was TEN? I was regularly approached and propositioned back then. When I moved to the US, it didnt matter how badass I moved. If I was ALONE, no matter what I wore, how I carried myself (I used to be a bouncer for dealers, ffs), if I was smiling or not-- I got hassled. I dont mind nods and whatever, but I really did not like cars trying to haul me into them, or anyone feeling like they could block my way. I COULD NOT EVEN GO TO THE LAUNDROMAT (ratty jeans, baggy-ass t-shirt, hair just pinned up) without having to tell people that I was not going home with them, and some people did not like that at all. After I ended up in a wheelchair, was that me acting like a victim? Ive been grabbed by street preachers, and even at conventions, guys whom Id told I was married still tried to grab my chair and wheel me off to their rooms. Larime had to forcibly intervene in one case. The person at fault in harassment cases is always the harasser. Women dont invite it. And if you are butthurt that a woman might see a mans even just polite greetings negatively, it goes something like this, and folks have seen this analogy before: If 10% of the bowl of M&Ms is poisoned and you know it, would you still risk taking one? What if youd been poisoned before? Understand that even just saying hello back can result in an assault-- if not then, then later, after hes tailed her. Ive greeted men pleasantly only to get an unwelcome surprise later. I am STILL nice to strangers, but I find it understandable if some women ONLY respond where they feel safe. A street is not safe.
Posted on: Thu, 30 Oct 2014 16:50:18 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015