These past few weeks have been very emotional for me. Ive put my heart out on my sleeve for everyone to see in hopes that the person I want to see it is paying attention. I never realized how it would feel to truly be myself. Anyone whos ever seen me around a woman that I like knows Ill do what ever it takes to impress her. I never thought that just being myself would be enough. Till the day I was considered just a friend. I built myself this reputation of being a ladies man and a bit of a bad ass or a rebel in hopes to stop myself from being hurt. I build my walls up high, with barbed wire at the edges and a shark infested mote to keep everyone out. I wasnt born this way. It took years of being crushed to nothing whenever Id lift myself up. So I learnt to just stay down even when others werent around. This world has taught so many of us to not be yourself for the fear of judgment. A man cant be a hopeless romantic who sits alone dreaming of the day that he will find the love of his life. A man cant have a dream wedding or imagine a perfect kiss. A man cant stay home on a Friday night singing love songs to himself while crying because deep down inside he knows the chances of finding his true love are impossible. So instead Id keep those walls up and tell them you will know of me what I let you know and nothing more. These walls were not built with doors or windows. You will not get to peak inside nor will I ever turn that lock. I said Id never let one in. It took 26 years for something incredible to happen. You see I built my walls and heavily guarded them but I never put a roof on. I never thought of it till He sent me down an angel. She didnt have to break down my walls for she landed right inside my heart. She made me remember who I was without even trying. Little did she know she was changing the rest of my life. Ill never go back to being that man for I hope that my next relationship will be my last. Not saying its with her or that she even feels the same way. But she opened my heart, mind and soul to the realization that there are good people left in this world and I can be one of them. Moral of the story. Just be yourself no matter what. We are all given one true love so if we are pretending to be someone else how will that person ever find us?
Posted on: Thu, 09 Oct 2014 00:30:31 +0000
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