They Will Know You Are Christians… By Your Standards? Julie Terrell There is an abundance of teaching within the Advanced Training Institute (ATI) and the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) about “high places”–about the danger of putting things in the place of God and our relationship with Him. But isn’t this exactly what has happened with our “standards” and “character”? In a recent conversation with an x-ATI friend (who, by the way, is not a Christian), we came across this subject of high standards. He said something that struck me profoundly. “One of the most unfortunate lies that is sold by ATI/IBLP is that non-Christians are completely impressed–even blown away and irresistibly drawn to faith–by Christians’ higher standards. This is completely unfounded and generally untrue. Non-Christians don’t care at all how well you keep the Sabbath, memorize Scripture, fast wholeheartedly, etc. Not at all. What people notice (Christian or not) is one’s capacity to love. I am drawn to Christians who love with abandon and whose love is impossible to miss.” Strange that this is much more along the lines of what Scripture teaches us. Most people have heard the verses in 1 Cor. 13 that speak about the importance of love. Verse one says, “If I speak with the tongues of men and angels but have not LOVE I am as a resounding gong or clanging cymbal.” If you have ever been to a Basic or Advanced Seminar, Knoxville conference, or involved with ATI/IBLP for more than a week, you have heard Mr. Gothard talk about “bright eyes” and “shining countenances” being a sign of a person’s right-standing with God. But John 13:35 says, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you LOVE one another.” (Emphasis added.) Maybe in addition to the bright eyes talk, you’ve heard Mr. Gothard speak about the importance of being different–of having “higher standards” to set you apart from “the world.” You might have heard hypothetical encounters that went something like this: A Christian meets a non-Christian on the street. The non-Christian asks, “Something is different about you. What do you have that I don’t have? I want it!” This opens the door for the Christian to witness to him and explain the reasons for all the differences between the two of them. I am sorry (yet not surprised) to tell you that this has never happened to me. I’ve been a Christian for 25 years. I was heavily involved in ATI and IBLP for 8+ years. For many years I believed the false teaching that holding up the “higher standard” would set me apart as a follower of Christ. That somehow, the depth of my character would draw people to the faith. Isn’t that, after all, the purpose of the “Character First!” program? (Hold on, did I just say “character first”? I’m pretty sure my Bible says more about “Jesus first” and seeking first the Kingdom of God.) In writing this article, I keep remembering a situation that happened 14 years ago. I’m appalled to admit I did this, even now. My family grew up with a few other home-schooling families in our town. But there was one family in particular that we were very close to. All of us kids were great friends… we all attended church together, did home school group activities together, even celebrated a few holidays together. We all called each other our best friends. Then I went to EXCEL. During my nine weeks there, I was convinced (some call it brain-washed) to believe that my peer group needed me to save them from themselves and the slippery slope of their “Christian walk”… by setting a higher standard. Especially my best friend who was beginning to dress “like the world” and listen to “worldly” (ie. Christian Contemporary) music. This meant confronting them about the many areas in which they were failing, and present the higher standard of what Christians should be like. If, at that point, they refuse to see the light and change their wicked ways, it is my obligation to cut off fellowship with them. For their own good, as well as my own. To protect myself from corruption. Eventually, they will see that I was right, repent, and fellowship can be restored. I am heartbroken to tell you that I bought into this, and followed through! Within a week of returning home from EXCEL, I pulled my friend aside and laid it all out there. I gave the whole speech that I had prepared about Christians being “set apart” and “different” from the world. I repeated the line I had heard so many times in ATI: “How will the world know you are a Christian if you look just like they do?” Somewhere along the way, I had completely forgotten about John 13:35. It does NOT say, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples; if you don’t dress like they do.” Neither does it say “…if you refuse to participate in certain holidays” or “if you are careful to only listen to music without a rock beat.” It’s much simpler than that. Much more pure. John 13:35 says, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples; if you love one another.” I wish I could tell you that the story of my friendship with this family ended well. I wish I could say that when my friend replied, “We ARE different because we have Jesus! And hope! And grace!” that I realized the truth behind those words and climbed down off my self-righteous pedestal. Sadly, that is not what happened. Instead, I held my holier-than-thou ground. Our families collided and words like “spiritual pride” and “graceless” cut deep. Talk about a break in fellowship… this one has yet to be restored. All because of a “higher standard.” Of course I have gone back to that friend and begged forgiveness for my graceless and loveless approach. But some wounds are simply too deep to be patched up with a band-aid. I work on the foreign mission field now. I am sorry to say that things don’t look much better out here in the love department. Denominations war against each other, refusing to work together, and denying each other the fellowship we so badly need from one another. The most heart-breaking thing to me in this situation is how very visible this is to “the world” and unbelievers around us. They do not see Christians rallying together, supporting each other, loving each other, or even working together. They see denominations. Each one believing that they have the only true answers. Everyone else is not worthy of their friendship. Each group has their own version of “holy living” and law-keeping. Which just makes Rom 13:8, Gal 5:14, and John 15:17 that much more pertinent. They all speak of LOVE as the greatest command and fulfillment of the law. Judging our fellow believer based on outward appearance should NOT be our focus. But if there is one trait that you should be known by, according to Jesus, it is love.
Posted on: Fri, 07 Jun 2013 14:39:24 +0000
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