They know you are/were a squaddie when.... (Add your own at the bottom) 1. Always use the 24 hour clock. 2. Nothing squaddies do shocks you 3. Use the phonetic alphabet to spell everything 4. Wife or girlfriend is in your phone contacts as ‘Zero Alpha’ 5. You refer to personal tasks as ‘admin’ 6. Use VP in everyday speak 7. Your civvy mates don’t understand VP 8. You don’t have any civvy mates!! 9. Use target indications and clock codes to point stuff out 10. Use patrol hand signals in loud places if people can’t hear you 11. Point or indicate using your whole hand 12. You don’t trust your wife / girlfriend to iron as good as you do 13. You think NOT shaving is a treat 14. You refer to smoke as a double edged sword 15. You hate civvies with long hair or wearing DPM / MTP 16. You break into a cold sweat if you have to work on a Friday afternoon 17. More than 50% of your DVD collection is war movies 18. You have a 10am NAAFI break every day otherwise you’d never make it through till lunchtime 19. No matter how much you get paid at the end of the month its all gone in a week with nothing to show for it 20. When leaving a phone number you always repeat it twice like a grid reference 21. You think using the same spoon to eat everything and licking it clean for a week is perfectly acceptable 22. You use VP in text messages 23. Before leaving any seat anywhere you always check your pockets and ‘prepare to move’ 24. You would never dream of using the same brush to put polish on AND off 25. You still own Ron Hills and wear them when nipping to the shop / petrol station 26. You count rounds expended during a battle scene in a war film and silently mutter ‘mag-change’ 27. You shout de-bus when dropping off people / the kids anywhere 28. You have a never ending list of phrases other than ‘going for a shit’ to describe that very action 29. You can’t help but shout ‘Gas Gas Gas’ or ‘Ease Springs’ if anyone farts 30. North Face, Alpine Lowe and Berghaus etc are comparable to Armani in the fashion world 31. You feel naughty when walking on grass 32. When the worst thing you can hear in the world is ‘wake up – you’re on stag!’ 33. You sit back to wall in a pub so you can keep ‘eyes on’ and clear escape routes 34. When walking through open countryside you subconsciously plan a route in ‘dead ground’ 35. You give impromptu lessons on car searching to security guards at the local car park 36. You point out all the mistakes in a war/ action film – and they are referred to as ‘training videos’ 37. You think it’s weird when people ask for cutlery when they are clearly called ‘diggers’ 38. Waking up with the fattest female in town makes you a legend with your mates 39. You don’t smoke, you ‘burst into flames’ 40. You wear flip-flops in a shower no matter where you are, even a hotel or a friend’s house 41. When discussing any event or outing there is always an ‘action on’ section 42. You can’t walk past Blacks / millets / any camping shop without going in to buy a new bit of kit 43. Your kids look puzzled when you ask them ‘who threw the admin grenade in their bedroom’ 44. Black masking tape can fix anything – FACT. That and a Leatherman are the only tools you will need in life – EVER 45. You always use a lighter to remove lose threads, even if you have scissors 46. You think running in a circle with 30 other people punching in random directions is normal 47. You know what all your squaddie mates wives and girlfriends boobs look like even though you have never met any of them 48. ‘Swamp’ is not a location in a jungle or part of the Florida everglades 49. Your wife / girlfriend fully understands hand signals, especially the ‘On Me’ when out shopping 50. The only way your other half can get you up after a night on the piss is to shout ‘STAND-TO
Posted on: Thu, 22 Aug 2013 16:36:23 +0000
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