Things are going okay. I am a little depressed I think. I just want to be in NJ with the girl and help her thru the things she is facing. Instead I am here facing my own dilemmas. I am frustrated, flat ass broke at the moment and very tired. I keep trying to remind myself to be gentle with myself. After all, just over a week ago I was on the verge of a coma with my blood sugar. About five weeks ago my toes were smashed and I still have not regained total feeling in all my toes. I was always rough, tough and larger than life...now I am beginning to feel my age and realize just how short life truly is. I am but a sneeze away from fifty years old. I am staying in a house with several twenty year olds. The young lady whose house it is happens to be the daughter of a friend of mine. I am going to go ahead and admit that it is sort of nice being around them. I made them a pot of chili last night night so the could have a hot meal. The arent bad at all. They, frankly, are tame compared to what I was at their ages. They have been gracious and sweet. They are good with my dogs. They all love Hannah. They had NO idea I was the age I am. They thought I was in my thirties so when my age came up in conversation, there was a hushed shock in the room. Staying here is not bad at all. These kids are real. They have raw emotions, life struggles and are doing the best they can with what they have. It is interesting for me to see the resilience, the determination and the way in which they approach set backs. It gives me a lot of hope for our country to be honest. I am working on a plan to get gas money together. I have a ride lined up. I just need to come up with about 500 bucks. That will cover gas there, their gas back and food, plus an extra hundred bucks for their time and trouble. I have asked my friends for help before and if I hadnt I would not be able to write this now. I am in a very humble position. For over a year I have been stuck in the middle of nowhere with no car and unable to really get a job donate plasma or earn money. My book royalties are not enough, I promise you. All I want is to get back to a city, where I can walk or ride public transpo and have my independence and self sufficiency back. I can stay with my gf and contribute to her household, do all the things she normally has to do and work hellacious hours. I can rebuild my life, yet again. The resilience of the twenty somethings is reminding me to buck up and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I am still waiting to get my larger sum of money and it will be relatively soon, but for now my life has been on hold and I just want to move forward and get to where I need to be. I dont mind saying that the past few years have been hell and I am ready to close this chapter of my life and move forward. At this time, I am going to ask my friends again, if they can help at all for me to raise the gas money, dgreer1986@gmail is my PayPal address and I would, do and will appreciate any help at all. God speed and love to you all.
Posted on: Fri, 31 Oct 2014 14:47:35 +0000
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