Thinking about how bad I suck at expressing anger or really any type of emotion that involves pain or confrontation. Now, I understand the roots of that. It was a conscious choice based on watching anger and other difficult to deal with emotions be expressed in ways that were extremely destructive. I can definitely see why I wanted to choose another path and for a long time I did, I always knew it was not an optimal choice either because my way mostly involved suppression which meant that to the best of my ability any time I was embroiled in a situation like that I would leave, cool off, then hold any sides of the problem in my own head, like a more civilized fight. Works to a degree. I think it made me look as best I could on y own for as many sides of a problem as I could, but it also was a means of non-communication, I cannot actually say I know any person well enough t really know what they were thinking or their actual viewpoint without actually talking it out. Just ballpark. Still, it was better than the destruction remembered. And this was my tactic for a lifetime. Suppression, walking away from fights. That changed for me with the accident that broke my wrist. I tend to think it was probably a head injury because I am less ABLE to suppress and I am a whole lot less patient and much much MUCH more confrontational than I ever was. But I never developed the skills to be confrontational effectively or maybe even fairly, so now, without brakes AND without skills it is like magma arcing out. Bad stuff! Still, I have come to the realization that suppression and being unwilling to say what I really think (after a time of defusing to make sure it is not raw and hot) is unhealthy and not something I want to do anymore. weird thing to be exploring at this point of my life. Hopefully I will get better at it. Sheesh
Posted on: Fri, 14 Mar 2014 05:36:19 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015