This BonusMom is frustrated with a BM who seems determined to make everything difficult. Please share your encouraging support and advice: How do you deal with a biological mother that literally does everything out of spite or to make your life difficult. My stepdaughters birth mother seriously takes any and every opportunity to make my life difficult or to make an unnecessary argument. I have been in my stepdaughters life since she was 1. She is now turning 6. Normally when we plan things on our week (we have sd every other week) we try not to let bm know details bc she always finds a way to ruin them. For example.. she didnt want my sd to be.at our wedding. Or if its one my biological kids birthday she says sd is sick . Or when we made plans to go to disney for my biological daughters birthday she got mad and called the police (no there is not more to that story. She literally called the cops and they told her we werent doing anything wrong.) So i plan on taking my biological daughter and sd to disney for sd birthday. I ask bio mom if it would be okay for me to take her alone without hubby so that we can have a girl weekend and bond. She says she has no problem as long as i give her the details. So my husband emails her the details (magic kingdom one day and animal kingdom the next day). As soon as i mention animal kingdom she all of a sudden says she has plans to take her there bc she needs to be the first one to take her there. Mind you, we waited taking sd to disney world with our family bc bm said she needed to be the first one to take her. So of course. ..once I mention it she says shes planning it bc she has to take her there first. I try reasoning with her and say i wanted to take her somewhere brand new to experience something with her for the first time and that her and her sister (my daughter) have both never been so theyd be experiencing it for the first time together. She still says no and says i can no longer take her anywhere until she takes her for birthday (which is in a month). I tell her okay. I give you my word i wont take her to animal kingdom but i dont want to cancel the trip bc you already gave me permission (twice. Once via text and once via email) and i started making arrangements . She said it doesnt matter and she takes back her approval. My husband told me i am allowed to go somewhere with her still since hes still her parent and he gave me permission. But since i didnt want to worry constantly that bm would do something crazy while i was gone or bother my husband since hed be home with our son, i tell her again i really just want to show sd a good time. It wont interfere with your plans and its not fair for her to go back on her word she sends a nasty email and says we do whatever we want anyway so that she better receive every last detail of my trip and i need to have my sd call her everyday. Now i get her wanting to know where her daughter is ...but obviously she is just taking it to another level bc i take care of my sd all the time. She goes everywhere with me and im just trying to have a fun weekend with her. I live in florida. For future reference. ..do i need to get her permission or is just my husbands sufficient? Obviously id love to have a decent relationship where i can tell her things but she makes up all kind of excuses on why we cant do things. And im very frustrated that she thinks what she says goes. My husband is a parent too. Hes allowed to make decisions as well. AND why does she thinks she is the only parent allowed to experience firsts with my sd. We like to be involved to. She truly makes mountains out of mole hills and i just want to cry. She is truly impossible. If we want to take her to a movie , she will say well im taking her next week so you cant. & in a normal world, you could just ignore it and do what you want to do on your time anyway. But she will make your life hell until you give in. She will blow up the phone or email and seriously go crazy. You never know when she will act out or call the police. We are going to trial in march and have been battling this woman for years. I dont know if there is any advice out there for me...but i just needed to vent. I am beyond frustrated
Posted on: Fri, 23 Jan 2015 22:00:00 +0000
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