This Christmas: My Son MICAH, Youve only been gone 17 months, But it seems as if it was yesterday. The battle was hard. We thought we had won, But still you fought on. Our hero, our son.. But now youre gone, And Now resting in Jesus arms. As you know I have lost a child. When a parent loses a child, it is a part of us that is gone too and it is losing our future too, our hopes and dreams and if our child has not had children we have lost our grandchildren too. We are not supposed to bury our children. They are supposed to bury us. And with this nightmare comes a tremendous pain that cannot be explained. When we lose a child we get to do a few things that other parents dont get to do. We get to see our child dead and have a funeral and all that comes with that. We get to leave our child at the cemetery. And if we have our child cremated we get to know what comes along with that too. Imagine how you would feel if you had to go through this with one of your children. I pray that this never happens. I would not and do not wish this on anyone. Please dont worry that mentioning my childs name will make me feel worse. It actually makes me feel better. It lets me know that I am not the only one thinking about my child. There is nothing you can say that can make me feel worse. There are a few phrases that can make me angry and they are: 1. I know how you feel. If you havent lost a child you could never know. 2. Get over it. I will never ever get over it. 3. Your child is not there anymore. My Childs body is there. I didnt give birth to your body, but Ive loved you from the day you came into this family. 4. At least you can adopt other children. Our children are not replaceable or interchangeable. 5. You know your child would not want you to be upset like this. This should never be said to anyone that is grieving any loss! If you see me crying please dont think, oh no not that again. Please give me a hug, offer to sit with me, hold my hand. At this moment words are not necessary. Just knowing someone cares is enough. Please understand that our child was and is a part of us. We will never heal from this loss. It will take many years for us to find our new normal. Please be patient with me while I go through the worst thing that could have ever happened to me. So please, let me grieve in my own time. I will do what makes me feel best about this horrible and tragic loss. And if I want to talk about my child please let me talk. No matter how many times you have heard the same story, just be a friend and listen without judgement. Every person on this Earth handles death differently and I am doing the best I know how to to make it through this. When I hear laughter it is you (Micah) When I look around it is you I see (MIcah) When there is sadness it is you (Micah) When there is teardrops shed it is you (Micah) Remembering you these are the things I feel Because you are gone forever (My Son) You will always be in my Heart and memories And well always LOVE YOU (MY SON) Thank you very much. Sincerely, Mama Val
Posted on: Fri, 26 Dec 2014 02:07:42 +0000