This is a note to you: How dare you make me doubt myself! How dare you judge me from a place of such lowly standing that I can barely hear your voice because you are so far beneath me. You have no reach here. You have no identity to me, you are nothing. There are many people in my life that support me and have stood by my side, I feel sorry for you. I know your family is such a huge disappointment that you cannot know something wonderful when you see it because everything to you is shit, but trust me I have the confidence to know that I am nothing like your family. I am not your family. Family stands by you through tough times, holds your hand through serious trouble and picks you up when youve seriously hit rock bottom. Those are family members. How dare you make me doubt for a second what I have done! How dare you! You are lower than I imagined. Perhaps karma will do her job, perhaps it should be pushed along a little. I think the more powerful emotion I want to convey is not that I wish you ill will, I dont, I am better than that, I am better than you, I want you to simply exist. I want you to wander this world aimless and hopeless and insignificant. I know you will because you are. Insignificant. Today you are robbed of your power! Today you have no hold. If i could do ONE thing to distance myself further from you I would do it. I wish I could remove that name, that label, that disgrace from my name. I am making this public because I KNOW you will read it, I know you will see it. You will read this when you are alone, when you think no one notices because you are ashamed of what you have done to me, I know you are and you should be. Its ok I forgive you for being a lowly person, for we have to have lowly people in our life to realize what amazing people we have in other areas of our life. (I am rambling but I feel like I have to put this down or I might explode) I have amazing people. I am surrounded by beauty and I am loved. My ONLY wish for you is that when you are in your final hours that the last thing from your lips is the words, I am sorry. because those words would be the most sincere words you have ever spoken. I hope that life has given you exactly what you deserve, nothing more nothing less. I hope it continues to do so for however long you might have. I dont want you back in my life, all of my family roles have been filled by wonderful people and you are just not wanted or desired or necessary. Sincerely... Derek Allan
Posted on: Fri, 10 Oct 2014 22:42:21 +0000
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