This is an actual Craigslist posting .. In the pet section ... Enjoy.... ********************************************** Craigslist : Lake monster trainer needed. First of all, lets get something straight. Most lakes and seas contain a few aquatic beasts--no big deal. But please, do not mistake this lake monster for the Loch Ness Monster. That isnt the same thing. This lake monster is Bessie, and she lives in Lake Erie. NOT Scotland. Anyway, Bessie and I have become pretty good friends. I was reading a book down by the lake at Lakewood Park in July...all the way at the end of the path where the rocks are. Its quiet down there. She doesnt like people too much either, I dont think, so thats where she hangs out. I was eating chocolate covered bananas. I shared them with her. Basically, instant BFFs. Mostly she eats all of the giant, smelly mutated carp and such, but she does really like chocolate covered bananas. The thing is, winter is approaching. I dont have any pets of my own, so Bessies basically like a step-pet to me. She is really more slimy than fluffy, but the affection factor is there just the same. But its going to be too cold for me to read at the park anymore soon, and so, Im in need of a skilled and experienced lake monster trainer to join me for a few intensive sessions over the next couple of weeks in an effort to teach Bessie to walk. My house is pretty much a half mile from Lakewood Park, so Im thinking with the right training we can probably get her walking by winter, at which point she will be able to come and visit me on her own accord, and I can trade her chocolate covered bananas for friendship and affection. References required. No dragon slayers, please. Also, Im not offering compensation for this position, because training a lake monster is reward enough. Thank you very much.
Posted on: Thu, 28 Nov 2013 04:04:37 +0000
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