This is extremely difficult to write, but I feel I must do this for myself, and for others who silently suffer day to day unable to express themselves or openly confront their problems, pushing the negativity trapped within them to the corners of their mind, facing the world with a fake smile hoping the pain that continuously consumes them, dragging them down to a place so dark no light can be found fades away with time and distraction. Ive never been able to seek help or understand exactly how to approach my problems and over the years hoping with enough ignorance to how I felt, things would be ok. They will never just be ok, and depression isnt something that should be taken lightly. I was found last week in the woods close to death as I attempted to take my life, fully believing within myself that this cause of action was the right decision, no longer having to deal with the demons that dragged my state of mind into a place so unbearable the possibility of having any form of future that gave me the ability to be truly happy within myself, non existent. Learning to gradually mask these problems through my teenage years I was able to come across as any other normal happy person on the outside, whilst suffering so much pain on the inside. I know how wrong my actions were, but until youre dealing with depression yourself, for whatever reason that may be, you become so consumed that sometimes you do not think about the hurt and pain you will leave behind, totally focused on only the pain you feel within you, wanting nothing more than to remove it. Currently I am put in a mental health hospital where hopefully I will get the help I need, as much as a struggle this is and will be, acknowledging what pain I have caused, I know I must comply with all the help necessary and fully be open on my thoughts and feelings with this second chance in life I have been given. I hope that, anyone who can silently relate to this, will come to a quick realisation that bottling your problems up and locking yourself away will eventually end in no favours to yourself, and will only serve to escalate into something so big youre unable to find your way out. Sooner or later you will crack, and you may get further than me. There is no coming back from that and simply confronting your issues and seeking help can prevent such an outcome. You are not weak to admit youre struggling, youre not weak to admit you need help. Please never let things get to the stage I got to, and remember there is always someone out there who loves you, cares for you and will miss you dearly. I am and have been severely depressed, and it feels somewhat good to be able to admit that. The release of opening up helps more than you can believe. Please do not suffer alone, or believe youre not worth someones troubles, nobody should feel like ending their life is the only solution. It isnt, and it never will be.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 09:04:11 +0000
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015