This is for me more than anything. One thing I know I have done once in the past here on Facebook but I will say it again is this: Many of you who have been with me for a while have seen things come and go on my Facebook page and a lot of you think I am nuts. I just try to keep it real. If you guys had known me when I was younger, from my late teens into my 20s before I got married, I lived a lie. Those days are over. I have spent the last 2 years trying to overcome divorce having lost my marriage of 12 years, the depression and suicidal thoughts and failure that followed while trying to maintain an existence in life was more than I could handle at times. One thing I know is I struggled with a lot of things, especially in 2012 into 2013. Part of me stopped caring about life, myself, and others. I entered a time where I was on a self-destructive path. I am no longer in that situation and beginning to move forward in my life. Some of you that I have personally known have no idea how much you have helped me. Nights that I would hang out either in the bar or at Waffle House was keeping me active and not home alone staring at the walls wanting to die. For those of you that have been my friends I thank you for that. I was in a fog and being in a fog can make it hard to see and focus. But in the end I had to get back to my first Love. In the middle of my selfishness and my depression I neglected to run to the One who has bought me with a price and instead ran away from Him. I did the exact opposite of what I should have done. But now I am finding my way back. He said in His word He would never leave us nor forsake us. The problem is I was the one who turned away from Him. I think it was because I felt like a failure, not only as a husband, but also as a Christian. I felt I had failed God. But the simple fact is I fail Him every day in some way or another. That is why the Gospel is good news and you hear things like He has ransomed our soul. He has done what we would never be able to do. There is nothing we can do. You can be a good person all your life and still go to hell. There are a lot of people in churches today going to hell because they have religion and not the Holy Spirit of God residing in them. But no one can know anyones heart, only God does. I guess the reason I am saying all of this is because I need to apologize to anyone who saw me act in a way or manner that brought a reproach to Christ or His name. I know there is no good excuse but I have to man up and face it. I am no saint of course...according to Romans 3:23 none of us are. That is why God sent His Son to die for you and me. He took our place so that we would not have to face hell. For those who are dispensationalists as I am, we are in the dispensation of grace....meaning God in His grace, love, and mercy will save anyone who wants it. But just as I am doing here, we must repent of our sins and come clean before God. That means burying pride and realizing that even our greatest works are as filthy rags. Yes, there is a cost to following Christ, but the cost for not following Him is worse. In the end it is a personal choice for each person. I know which choice I have made. Does that mean I am better than anyone? Nope....it just means I am forgiven of much. Trust me when I say He has forgiven me of much because He has. Now I must repair and restore what I have lost. I just wanted to say I am sorry if I have said or done anything wrong to anyone who has known me over the past year or so. This goes for the few outside the friends list that keeps up with my public posts on FB as well as those in the friends list who are reading this. One thing I try to live out and tend to repeat here on FB is that ACTIONS speak louder than words, It is actions, not words that define a person. I guess I am practicing what I preach here. Sorry for such a long post. youtube/watch?v=5QzK1aLSn3g
Posted on: Fri, 12 Sep 2014 15:12:09 +0000
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