This is my final thought before I hop off Facebook and live life. Ill be on here, but I certainly wont be posting like I used too, wanna get a hold of me, you can hit me up on messenger. These past few weeks have been quite shitty to say the least. I cant imagine an eloquent word being used. There was a question of my Mother might having cancer who doesnt thank Gd, Hebrew in which Im struggling and to top it all off my sister, who said I should die because I left the United States. Firstly let me start with my sister. I have no idea why yiu harbor so much hate and anger towards me. I have loved her. When I moved here she sent me disgustibg messages. Telling me my Father didnt love me and according to her i was nothing but a burden on him because of my disability. Number one, this sister had much more time with her then I ever did, why are you jealous? The man came back into your life as a teen. How dare you compare that with the sparse ten years I had with him. I was due more time. He shouldve died when I in my 20s so I couldve prepared myself. You didnt have the luxury of having to find your dead father. Today, I get mesages from her saying I should die. You got your wish. I am dead to this particular sister so, for her, Victor Molinas-Booth is dead. So if any other family reads this. Relay the message that I want no more contact with her. For all of my other family, I am alive. Also, I must get out and live my life now. I have never had been to a wild high school or college parties, hardly ever clubbed, never had a childhood after ten years old. This has emotionally stunted me. I feel as if I am catching up on years of lost time. The years spent in a shrinks office, the years spent in a foster home or shelter, the years spent breaking my back at jobs just to put food on the table for my Mother and I. Now, My time is now friends. I must live and smile, I must be the one on the top of the bar dancing instead of my head in a drink being sad. I want to go out and dance terribly in the street with a beautiful woman after having a few drinks at three in the morning and then go home with her, I want to get back to school and be a paramedic, I want to become more religious, I want to marry and have children, I want to be a useful member of this world. Many things I want to do. I cant have barriers to this anymore. So, with that. Im gonna get busy livin....... Ill be on here from time to time, but now reality is here. Not on the screen of a smartphone.
Posted on: Tue, 02 Dec 2014 12:55:18 +0000
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