This is not me, just a random story that I thought was funny! How to Cook Corned Beef and Cabbage the Traditional Irish Mother Method Go to the butcher in a very good mood. Tell him the story of how your family loves when you cook the corned for them. Tell him that you want that piece right there....no not that one....the one two over....no not that one....good heavens, cant you see that ones nothing but fat? That one...that one right there. Jaysus Sweet Lord give me the one that Im pointing at.....yes, that one, and dont put your thumb on the scale. (mutter, where the hell do they find help today) Take the corned beef home. Unwrap it. This is the wrong one. Ah, but theres no time to return it, Ill have to work my magic. Damn fool. Put the corned beef in water on the stove, throw in some pickling spices and have at it... While thats going on, make the soda bread. Ah, I can never make too much soda bread for sure. They love it so...Are you kidding me, the buttermilks out of date? Nah, cant be, smells ok...Ill just cut it with some milk. And some melted butter. And an extra egg should be good. I want to get rid of all these old raisins- Ill soak them in some hot water, be ok. Damn, the pots boiling over. Ah, what a mess. I hope they appreciate this mess- those lovely kids and hubby. Ill just wipe it up later while the bread is baking. Where did I put the good roaster now? Did someone take it on me? Damn, I think I lent it out- well, thisll have to do and be good. I hate not cooking it in the right pan. I might as well have a little Guinness. Corned is boiled and ready for the oven. Lord God, what a lot of dishes for one meal. I hope they know how I worked on this supper. All the while, theyre nowhere to be found. Somebody could be peeling the potatoes but nah, Ill do it. Put the potatoes and onions into the corned water, and some carrots for color. I hope that cabbage doesnt have any worms like last time. And the fit they pitched when I went back and asked for my money back! Hoo! Got it though....and told everyone, I did. Corned is in the oven now, and the second Guinness is popped. A good thing I got to it first, is all I can say! All of its boiling, think Ill go sit on a stoop till its done. Maybe have a chat with next door. What a ruin- the only time you can tell shes lying is when shes got her mouth open. Ah Jaysus, the veg are boiling over now- good God save me. I swear Ill never make this damn meal again! Every single pot in the house is used, and nobody here to scrub them for me. But thats ok, Ill do it myself, like everything else. They trust me so much for they know I can do it all, every day, all by myself. I think Ive earned another Guinness for sure. No one could deny me that. Where is that damn husband. He should be here helping- hes the one who wanted the damn thing. The kids would just as soon have a hamburger and chips. Sweet Jaysus, the breads burning! Ah, Ill just cut off the bottom, nobodyll know or care. They dont care about it at all. I could just as well serve them scraps. I suppose the corned is done, and the veg too. I didnt see any worms but sure as sunrise one of the kids will find one. Ill never hear the end of it. Ma, ya missed the worm Good for them, Ill tell em. Its extra protein Ill say, thats just what Ill say. And if you dont like it, go down the street to the Presbyterians. Get some of that watery soup those fools eat. Nothing like a good Irish dinner like this one! Eh, now get to the table. Mother has worked all day making you dinner and now shes tired and needs some quiet. Where the hell is my husband. Eat without him, kids, hell show up sometime, drunk as a lord. Ill clean up the mess after youre done, now. Mother loves you. Mother loves you. Happy St Patricks Day, if you made it all the way to the end!
Posted on: Mon, 17 Mar 2014 21:41:56 +0000
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