This is post 2/2 for the night, so if you dont see the other one on your newsfeed and like giving advice, stop on over to the actual page. :) This one is LONG... but that just means more info so we can give better advice, right?! :D :D Any input or advice would help,this is a long one:I am a step child,I have a SM and I wasnt lucky to have had a good one my bm passed on when I was only 1 year and 9 months old of cancer me and my older sister where step children and now I have been a SM for almost 3 years to 2 precious little girls, I started to date my now husband beginning of 2011 his daughter then just turned 1 years old that he had with his ex they werent married, dated for 2 years, he also told me straight up she told him in beginning of 2011 she think she pregnant again, he just informed me before we started to get serious so I was fully aware and I knew where I was getting myself in both my and his family have been close friends for years so our parents knew each other but we didnt tell anyone at first when we started to date that is BM might be pregnant again, cause she told him that before when she wasnt she is a pathological lair and had a miscarriage before dating my now hubby due to experimenting drug use. She said she on birth control but never said what just that it was strong enough not for her to get pregnant,he never saw it or saw her taking it whenever she stayed over,when they had intercourse she always provided the protection, the condom broke once and she fell pregnant and gave birth to their daughter 15 April 2010. She knew she wasnt the woman he wanted to spent his life with and marry but she thought this might keep them together as they had problem before she fell pregnant her dad insisted they get engage which they did after their daughter was born, things soon got worse with her getting physical with him while he was holding their daughter once and this wasnt the first time before baby was there it happened and she promised it wouldnt again she was extremely jealous and he couldnt have any female friends, him being the only son she ruled him and alienated him from his family her family was very racist, she had a uncle when he came around my now hubby had to hide in a room upstairs He was and is a gentleman and never lifted his hands towards her no matter what and how worse it got his mother(my now mother-inlaw) found out that things got physical and confronted the BM she denied everything, finally when my hubby got to his senses he dumped her before their baby turned 1 years old and she still wouldnt except it, she then asked him to have intercourse to find out if there is any feelings still there she yet again provided the protection and they began but hubby stopped before he could reach his (point of pleasure) so no reproductive cells was produce to put it nicely. So after that he left her and never look back. She contacted him early 2011 to tell him she pregnant again in the time they were broken up she said she has a BF and my SD calls him Daddy. We started to date in 2011, with him telling my everything that has happened so that. I know cause she lied a lot. He then went to his daughters 1st bday party, at BM parents house where she stays his family went with she then threatened to tell his parents that she is pregnant again in this time I already spoke to my now mother-inlaw and she told me she claimed to be pregnant last time aswell as she is fat or rather big build no one ever believed her. Hubby told her not to say anything as he wanted to talk to his parents alone as she manipulated hubby dad a lot hubby mom started to see threw her and warned her cause he didnt know what the truth is as she is very manipulative aswell in this time she found out about me and pulled out all her tricks in her hat. When they broke up the didnt talk about hubby paying support or anything so as we expected he was taken to court when we went to court she told my hubby father that she pregnant again and her due date end November 2011 and its a girl, being in shock the immediate responds everyone thought hubby cheated on me, if you do the calculations but we knew the truth and they didnt know exactly when we started to date we never told anyone the truth no use, aslong as we know the truth. The support for his 1st daughter was settled and she told his parents and infront of me and hubby she would raise the 2nd child on her own and that she will put the 2nd child on her surname as his first daughter is on his surname cause she thought they gonna get married and that she wont ask for support for 2nd baby. 2011 went on and my now hubby propose after only 6 months of dating we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together so on the 4 November 2011 we received a message from BM stating she gave birth and what she decided the little girls name should be. December 2011 we decided and tied the knot. Early 2012 we received court papers for support for the 2nd baby and also found out she illegally changed 1st baby surname to hers and took hubby off her birth certificate. We not knowing what the truth was any more. Demanded the court do paternity test he felt he had to know first as she lies we both had to make sure so they did DNA test and came back 99.9% that my husband is 2nd baby daddy then went on to court for support she again got her way hiring a private lawyer but she says she struggling hubby also informed me she use to a certain lifestyle and brands and such. We now taking her back to court for the illegal surname change and that hubby should go back on 1st baby birth certificate and on 2nd baby as we now k now he his her dad have test results. Between all this time he hasnt seen 1st baby and 2nd baby just once with the DNA test at the labs. He has been there for 1st baby birth from beginning she knows her father and my mother-inlaw said when BM brought the 2 children to her house once 1st child ask where her daddy is? and the 2nd baby dont know her dad and BM dont let her bond with anyone she holds her all the time my mother-inlaw stated. The 1st daugther looks exactly like hubby and got her dads length(hubby very tall) and same hair BM cut her hair before she could talk and so short people thought she was a boy cause she couldnt handle the type of hair. (ironically I am the spitting image of my dad and my SM asked my dad to choose her or me)and 2nd baby got lots of features of hubby aswell but I feel as if BM keeps that against her own daughter and just always holds the 2nd baby and keeps her from bonding with anyone else thats why I feel not hubby fault that he wasnt there from beginning for 2nd baby she lied to much we were told once his 1st baby had swine flu which was all a lie just for her to get my hubby to call her. He doesnt fall for her manipulations anymore and sees threw her fake tears and tantrums. We have our first social workers meeting tomorrow with her aswell to mediate When we can see and have his/our 2 daughters for weekends and holidays, dont know what to expect as she always brings her mother with to court and will probably bring her tomorrow aswell I have told her once before the ring is on my finger and Im Mrs....... and Im not going anymore get use to me cause Im gonna help raise your children. As she thought that I would leave hubby when paternity came out for 2nd baby and Im still around. My SDs is 3 and 2 years old and deserve to see their dad. BM said he can see them at her house but Im not welcome lol thats her desperate bid to get him back and me out the way lol he dont wanna even enter that house as he had to be hidden away cause of his skin color. He is a very gentle man and has a soft hart just like me. End of this year we are married 2 years and I told him and promised his family I would do whatever I can in my power for him to see his/our daughters. Any child is a blessing no matter how brought in this life they didnt ask to be here so why use them for your own vendettas it breaks my heart cause I grew up never fitting in and never feeling good enough, feeling in the way and like a burden, I will never let anyone grow up with what I had to not even my Husbands beautiful daughters my SDs. We recently found out that his 2nd baby girl was born with 6 fingers on 1 hand they banded it off when she was only a few months old and she all healthy and normal we never knew as BM never informed us only ask my mother-inlaw if it was in their family and she told BM it wasnt and why she wanted to know then we found out. my husband and I have a very good relationship we talk about everything and he always say one of the reasons he fell inlove with me is my big heart. His first convo he had with me he told me about his daughter and asked if that would be a problem I told him straight up no, cause they both are part of him and I love all his pieces. We both came our physically and verbally abuse relationship before we met each other and what we found together is nothing as what we imagined only more. I cant wait for our first weekend with our daughters hubby feel a bit anxious cause of 2nd baby girl that doesnt know us 1st baby girl is a extrovert like her dad she knows us. We dont have any children together yet but looking forward to that in the future. I kept every Court Papers and. Social Workers Papers to show them when they older how we struggled to get them in our lives and we have been fighting for them for almost 3 years roughly now but I stand by their father, I love him just as I love them -24 year old Stepchild,Wife and SM to 2 SDs.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Nov 2013 01:12:55 +0000
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