This is tough to write and share publicly but everyone that knows me is aware that I truly believe that if anyone can learn or grow as an individual, a child of God, through my transparency...well there is nothing I would want more. I start this by saying I will NO LONGER SAY that I am unworthy of Gods love, gentleness and faithfulness due to either my personal failures in life, hardships, things that have been completely out of my control, etc. nonetheless I have had to face. Why? Because Satan has desired nothing more than for me to walk and live in that and HE NO LONGER HAS AUTHORITY - the last couple months of my life have been EXTREMELY tough but GOD, as only He can, has used this time to Restore, Replenish, Revive and Recreate this girls heart along with my two precious angel bugs. I spent a lot of time crying and hurting - time that I hadnt allowed myself to have out of fear, hurt, pride and anger. Sounds terrible to many and it was BUT...I couldnt hold it in or hide another minute behind those walls and it was EXACTLY what was desperately needed. I couldnt pray because I didnt know what to say but God confirmed that every tear drop (although I thought I was completely alone in those moments) were caught by Him and were prayers that didnt need words...each one was quite full and heavy. He saved them for such a time as this to use to cleanse, wash, polish and shine what belonged to Him...His daughter, full of Joy, Life, Compassion and Love. I am a work in progress and continuing to learn and grow but WOW it has been a journey like none I have been down yet. I would like to publicly share because I am NOT ASHAMED but rather just a broken vessel that maybe He could use through this journey because KJ will promise you this, the rewards (not one being materialistic) have been incredible and anyone can receive them. This Christmas I want to Praise The Lord for each one that has reached to the core of who I am. Breakthrough Forgiveness and Grace The continuation of healing for me and my babies Special time and moments with my kids Reconciliation Love - His kind Friendship - TRUE friends that dont let you hurt alone and stand beside you no matter what Katie Rudesheim Reuniting with a foster child that has always been a piece of my heart and getting to now see her as a Mama and be a part of her daughters life (see my latest angel bug below) Reminding me what TRULY matters in this life and how quickly it comes and goes The opportunity to completely trust and rely in Him for the next moment Kim Walker James Chase T Welch Somer Welch Brittany Vargas and her beautiful baby girl - I am so very proud of you sweet Brit - always here for you! #thankful #workinprogress
Posted on: Fri, 12 Dec 2014 03:23:20 +0000
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