This isnt your normal Z28. This motherfcker is the Z28 God would drive if he wasnt busy doing God sh*t like making tsunamis and crap. Its set up to go fast, and go fast sideways. Who doesnt like to get sideway?! Terrorists, thats who. Are you a terrorist? No? Then you need this car. Handling? This car handles like a junior executive CEO. Go around corners like the devil himself is chasing your ass, and not give a f*ck. Whats that? You like drifting? Well Ive got some great god d@mn news for you. This car was a drift project of mine, and the last owner was planning on making it a drift machine too. Interior is for pussies so we got rid of it. Manly as f*ck. It literally oozes testosterone. So much so that its puddling up in the back. Seats? this cocks*cker has got two. One for you, and one for the hot @ss broad thats gunna be all upons your manhood after you buy this car. Youre a girl? Sh*t works both ways. One seat for you, and one seat for that hot @ss dude youve been trying to hook up with for weeks. Deal with it, sh*ts getting serious. Stereos and AC are for hippies. Fortunately this car has neither. Oh look at me, I like listen to Simon and Garfunkel and think about puppies. F*ck that. The only noises youre gunna be hearing is the ultra manly engine noises coming from this sweet 285HP 5.7! Sh*ts getting real, real f*cking fast. This car has got a bright orange ebrake handle (b*tches love orange) with a drift button for those super ultra megahellatastic bar room brawler ebrake lockers. F*ck. Yeah. Now, Ill be honest. The wheels are a little lackluster, although everyones gunna be so focused on your super gangster drifting that nobody is going to give a f*ck about your sh*tty stock 16s. Dont worry, Ive got you fcking covered. Its like were in Vietnam and you just got ambushed by Charlie. Dont worry, friend, Ive got your fcking back and I blow charlie to kingdom fcking come. For an extra $450 I can throw in some added p*ssy magnets for wheels, just dont come crawling back to me complaining that youre getting TOO much vajayjay. Chrome f*cking Z06 17s. Chrome not your thing? Super legit silver 18s. Done like dinner. This car has got 1.5 metric f*ck tons of awesome parts. K&N, FlowMaster, Hooker, the list doesnt f*cking END. It just keeps going and going, like the energizer bunny on speed. You like going fast? Ever tried to outrun 24 police cars and 3 helicopters? You need this car. It will go so f*cking fast that you may very well go back in time. It happened to me once. Just once, but it was f*cking cool. Its like someone took a rocket and opened its mouth and poured steroids down its throat and and threatened to kill its family if it wasnt the fastest motherfcker youve ever driven. I get it. Youre busy, Im busy, lets not waste time. If youre interested send me a message and Ill get back to you ASAP. You send me a message, I send you one right back. Thats how this works.
Posted on: Sat, 08 Nov 2014 17:29:04 +0000
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