This seriously is hard... dont like to be in the spotlight unless - TopicsExpress



          

This seriously is hard... dont like to be in the spotlight unless its for something awesome... If you dont know much about me, Im an addict. I have been for a long time. It started before my dad died, but after he died, it got worse. Somewhere deep inside me, I know I am a great person, but I havent been for a long time. Ive struggled; Through depression, anxiety, psychosis. (Seriously) Its not easy being me. I was diagnosed in 2007 with Borderline Personality Disorder and that sucks. Maybe you dont believe in that, but I face it every day. I know Ive said I was diagnosed, but very few know what I go through, let alone what the people closest to me go through. I feel possessed. I feel like the worst human being possible and the worst part is, I feel like I cant help it. Theres so little known about BPD. Most counselors wont take me because Im manipulative and because the diagnosis is so bleak. What no one knows is that Id give anything to not be this way. Id give anything to be normal. Id give anything to be able to walk anywhere without sweating, shallow breathing, feeling like the entire world is looking at me, feeling like everything I do isnt good enough. Id give anything to not feel pissed if I dont feel scared. Im either pissed at everyone and treating everyone like shit or I feel anxious and scared. I dont want sympathy, I want understanding. Most of all, I want others to know that Im here. More than anything, it helps to have people who feel the same. I know Im not worth much anymore but if I can help one person to not take their life, Ill put myself out there. No,matter what youre going through, I will be here. Please, I promise I will be. Do this for me. Help give me a purpose and a chance to help others. I will talk to anyone who needs it. Im tired of seeing people end their lives. Remember, 1 in 10 people diagnosed with BPD commit suicide. I know Im not worth much but I wont be a statistic. Send me the broken 6052912252
Posted on: Mon, 03 Nov 2014 23:53:48 +0000

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