This sermon from a few years back keeps popping up on a sidebar on FB. Thought Id repost it. April 18, 2010 Swift Church Romans 12:1-2, 9-18 The B.E.S.T. Marriage Last night folks gathered at Swift for the wedding of Samantha and Glenn. Today (@ 10:00) we celebrate the 50th Anniversary of Brenda and Karl. Seems like a good time to talk about marriage. The Bible doesn’t say a lot about marriage. Most of the 49 times it’s used states that two people got married. There are some verses that address marriage as an institution. 1 Cor 7:1 It is good for a man not to marry. Heb 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all . . . There are verses relating to husbands and wives. Eph 5: 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her Col 3:18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Now I recognize some of you are not married. The verses from Romans are not addressed to a married couple. Paul writes about Christian relationships generally. I encourage you to allow God to help you think in terms of your own relational needs. Your dating relationships. Your work relationships. Your family relationships. Your church relationships. When we look at the larger view of Scripture instead of focusing on a few marriage verses, we get a wonderful picture of how to have the B.E.S.T. marriage. I’ve selected 4 words from our Romans reading (there are plenty more) as our focus this morning. The first word is: Bless. “Bless” in Greek (language of NT) means to speak well of. To bless is to declare, or wish, God’s favor and goodness upon another. Verse 14, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” How does that relate to your spouse? No matter how you feel about your spouse at any given moment, bless him. Bless her. Speak well of them when they make you mad. Speak well of them when they treat you dirty. Speak well of your spouse to others; to your spouse; to your children. Speak well of them. The Bible is filled with people blessing one another. A father blessing his son is not just idle words; the blessing has the power to bring words to reality. When you speak positively of your mate and to your mate, the power of those words can bring them to reality. This week a wife posted on FB, “Does anyone know how wonderful my husband is?” The responses from a friend, “what did he do?” Her response, “nothing . . . he just is.” Imagine the power of those words to build up. The same with the power of a curse; they can bring down your mate. We have a tendency to talk down our spouse to our friends. “He never helps around the house. I might as well be single.” “If she was a cold when we dated as she is now, I never would have married her.” Imagine the power of those words to break down. The Gk word for “Bless” is the word we use for eulogy. Like at a funeral. Don’t wait until your spouse dies to speak well of him/her. The second word is actually two words: Extend Hospitality Verse 13 “Practice [extend] hospitality.” We think of hospitality as having to do w/ treating company nicely. But hospitality is not just getting ready for somebody to come over for dinner. Biblical hospitality is simply, loving other people. Hospitality begins at home, not with guests, but with your very own family. How do we treat guests? You pick up the dirty clothes. You greet them at the door. You offer something to drink. You give them the best seat. They get the whole cookies and you save the crumbled ones for later. You are polite, cheerful, warm, welcoming. Hospitality offers a pleasant environment. Extend hospitality to your spouse. Don’t just treat guests politely. Make sure that you treat your own family with grace and with kindness. When you treat guests better than your marriage partner, you have failed to extend hospitality. Yesterday morning I got up early to work on this part of the sermon. I took a break and went into the kitchen and poured up some cereal. I came to the living room and plopped on the sofa to eat. It was then I looked over at Lisa who was not feeling well. I immediately realized I had taken care of myself without extending hospitality to her. I asked her if she wanted something. Then I went back to the kitchen to get her some cereal. Hospitality helps us get into people’s lives and tear down walls and barriers that exist in relationships. The third letter S represents: Sincere Verse 9: Love must be sincere. Selfish love aims to get far more than it is willing to give. There must be no hypocrisy, no play-acting, no ulterior motive. As I’ve said before, love is not an emotion but an action, a sincere commitment to one another. For those thinking “if I were sincere, I would have to say I don’t love wife/husband”. To you I say this: “fake it till you make it”. Now I know that sounds contradictory to sincerity, but hear me out. “Fake it till you make it” means to imitate confidence so that as the confidence produces success, it will generate real confidence. Start acting like you love her. Start acting like you love him. Treat your spouse as if you are madly in love. And through acting in loving ways, sincere love will grow. Those of you familiar with the movie “Fire Proof” know “The Love Dare”. Caleb and Catherine are about to divorce. However, Calebs father proposes that his son delays their separation for forty days and practice The Love Dare. Caleb reluctantly agrees--more for the sake of his father than his marriage. He begins by faking it—he fakes blessing her. He fakes hospitality. But with his fathers encouragement, Caleb continues and eventually makes a life-changing commitment to God. Through the guidance of The Love Dare, and as a result of his commitment to Christ, Caleb understands what it means to truly love his wife. He moves from faking love to sincerely loving. Sincere love in action. Our final word to have the best marriage is: Transformed Verse 2: Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed . . . . The pattern of this world is consumer marriages. When you get tired of one, trade in on another model. To worship and serve God we must undergo a change of our inward personality, of the very essence of our being. To be a great spouse we must allow God to change us from self-centered to Christ-centered. Once we are Christ-centered, we can then be transformed in our relationship with our spouse. Back to the Fireproof movie. When Caleb finds Catherine at home sick in bed, he decides to take care of her, with food and medicine. [let’s watch what happens: youtube/watch?v=K_PzB6RPkN4&feature=related] Bewildered at his new bedside manner, Catherine asks Caleb whats happening to him. Caleb starts to tell Catherine about The Love Dare, and she pulls Calebs book out from underneath the blanket next to her. Caleb confesses he’s on day 43 of the 40 day dare. She says this is not normal for him. He replies, “this is the new normal”. And tearfully apologizes for his selfish behavior and asks her forgiveness. He says, “I am sorry I have been so selfish. For the past 7 years I have trampled on you with my words and my actions. I have loved other things when I should have loved you. In the last few weeks God has given me a love for you that I have never had before. And I have asked him to forgive me. And I’m hoping and praying that somehow you will be able to forgive me. Catherine, I do not want to live the rest of my life without you.” That’s is transformation. Changed, by the power of God, from the inside out. From self-centered, to Christ-centered to spouse-focused. So, how do you have the BEST marriage? You speak well of your mate at all times. You extend hospitality. You sincerely love (or learn to love). And you, through the grace of God, are transformed into a new person—a new husband, a new wife, a new father, a new mother
Posted on: Mon, 15 Dec 2014 15:50:23 +0000
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