This was posted by a friend and general all around smart person. She allowed me to share it with you. Happy New year Everyone! (David) Happy New Year to all. I hope all of you will have a better year than last. I have decided that instead of making resolutions that will probably never be kept in the coming year I will be working on accepting who I am. I am not perfect. Never have been and never will be. I have faults galore. If you walk into my house, you can expect cobwebs on the ceiling and in corners of the rooms. Most times you can expect rings around my tub, floors that need to be swept and mopped, dishes that need to be washed. My computer table will be piled with bills, seed catalogs, candy wrappers, and pill bottles not to mention the half finished craft projects that I had a lot of intentions to finish. The carpets need to be vacuum, the cat litter box is probably in desperate need of cleaning, piles of laundry litter the house liberally throughout. Sometimes it is reasonably clean although never sparkling. You see, sometimes it is hard to get up out of bed for days or weeks at a time and things only get done when I have the energy to move. My garden starts out every year with promises of the harvest. In the Spring there are cleaned out beds and garden space with sprouts or seedlings everywhere. Tomatoes, potatoes, snow peas, garden peas, snap beans, onions, squash, and greens all vie for space to fulfill their destiny in the freezer or on the table. Towards the end of the season however, the weeds or other maintenance begins to overwhelm my abilities to keep up. I spend a lot of time on the computer. Probably way too much time In the evenings. I pretty much live on it at night playing a videogame with other people from all over the world. It is probably not as much time as many people spend watching TV, but I have no TV and really dont even want one. I prefer to actively take part in things rather than sit passively in order to enjoy it. In the rural area I live in I have very little in common with other people. I am not into hunting, guns, and Im not religious so church affiliations are just not for me. I love human interaction, but spending time with people for the most part drains me. Because of this, I tend to make excuses why I cannot have company, or cant go out with friends or family. Computers allow me the luxury of human interaction with people that interest me and can stimulate my mind, and yet I can get up, leave the computer or turn it off and recharge as I need to. I have moments Where I am extremely creative, and I have tunnel vision during those times. That means that cooking dinner and virtually everything else goes on hold until I either finish it, or lose complete interest and it goes into the someday I will finish this pile. This excess energy can often go into extreme cleaning of a tiny part of the house, larger projects outdoors, or sudden interest in exercise and hiking. Too often my mind simply goes into overdrive and life speeds past in a blur of inspiration and thoughts that are impossible to pin down. I am an information junkie. I often need constant stimulation to keep more sinister or unhealthy thoughts from having equal airtime in my mind. The Internet feeds that addiction and allows me to search for anything from arts and crafts that inspire me, to information on how to preserve what does come out of my garden, to ways of living more cheaply and sustainably. It helps me to understand the world we live in, the good and the bad. All of this without leaving my living room. Most people would say I need to get out more, that I need to shutdown the computer and go outside, be more sociable, but it is mostly what keeps me challenged. I like to argue. This causes me a lot of issues with friends and family. There is little small talk I enjoy. Give me a deep conversation or even a heated debate about all different manners of subjects and I am happy as a clam. This turns a lot of people away, especially when they feel I am somehow abridging their right to do or think as they please, mostly on Facebook. I would stand up for their rights to post anything they wish on their status, and I would hope others would understand that it should be my right to challenge the way they think or what they post. Its annoying I know, but it really isnt personal. I have to deal on a daily basis with a major mental disorder. Some call it Bipolar Affective disorder, but the term bipolar has recently been overused just to refer to someone who is difficult to deal with or moody. I prefer to call it what it used to be called, manic depression. It is an emotional roller coaster and takes me out of commission on a regular basis. It is hard to wash dishes or do laundry (all done by hand since I have no washing machine) when you really dont care if you live or die that day. I spend most of my time interacting with people online or doing things that keep my mind busy as a coping mechanism. I am who I am and I am unlikely to change. For years I have been beating myself up for my faults such as these. I dont fit in the way most people do. I dont do daily chores the way I should. Many people may see me as lazy since I dont work, but believe me no employer would put up with me for long, and my employment history shows that pretty clearly. My house is a mess most of the time, my yard is too. I sit on my butt and play video games and can be argumentative as hell. This year I am going to accept these things without beating myself up about them. I ask you to please accept the way I am as well, or feel free to unfriend me. If I argue with the way you think or the things you post, understand that is just who I am, and as long as you are friended by me on Facebook, I will throw etiquette aside and challenge your way of thinking. If you do not want to see my side whether you agree or not, more power to you if you delete me on Facebook. You will still remain my friend or family if you think I am annoying and aggravating, but I am no longer going to tell myself these things. Happy New Year to everyone.
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 01:50:47 +0000
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