This was read at our Gift Exchange game this year. Each person started with their gift on their lap. When the word right was said, the gift was passed to the right. On Left, the gift moved left. At the end of the game, whatever gift you got on your lap is what you got! Thanks to Sandy Mack for writing it! The Plight of Hagar and Helga: RIGHT or LEFT? In a land not so far away, and not so long ago, lived Hagar and Helga. New to the area last year, after having LEFT New Jersey, they thought their friends would be RIGHT back. But no, their Sports For Health friends are nowhere to be seen. Looking to the RIGHT, then LEFT, they seem to have been LEFT all alone. How can this be RIGHT? They made us a happy home and then LEFT us high and dry on a hill. Was that the RIGHT thing for our friends to do? But what choice did they have, RIGHT? At least we have a view of the barn (love what’s LEFT of the old red barn) and the pond to the RIGHT and beautiful mountain scenery to our LEFT. Let’s imagine what they’ll be doing this summer at Scott’s Resort, RIGHT down the road, as the crow flies. Sure, they’ll do some hiking. Different path, same feet. We can still hear the LEFT, LEFT, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT of those marching feet going up the road. Stop at the bridge, LEFT to go to Harris Pond. Straight ahead, up the hill, RIGHT turn to Tracy’s trout pond. Up the hill, LEFT to the fishing area. Flick that RIGHT arm, or LEFT, or switch, try, LEFT then RIGHT, whichever is RIGHT for you. No fish should be LEFT behind. Canoeing was always fun to watch. Hop in from the RIGHT side, fall out on the LEFT. But no one is LEFT behind, if you’re lucky. Rescue will be RIGHT along, as soon as the leader realizes you’ve LEFT the boat. Now, back in the canoe, paddle RIGHT, no, my RIGHT, not your RIGHT. That way we go to the LEFT or RIGHT and not around in a circle. Can’t forget the tandem biking. Jump RIGHT on and whiz off down the road. Oh, wait! RIGHT away I realize something. I LEFT my participant behind. LEFT turn, back to the start. Now I’ll do it the RIGHT way. Stoker on from the RIGHT, captain on from the RIGHT. Now everyone else is LEFT behind to eat our dust. And we’re not the least bit sorry, RIGHT? RIGHT about now, we need some LEFT on our own time. LEFT bed or RIGHT? Just can’t remember. Have to try both, RIGHT then LEFT. I’ll stick with the LEFT. So much more comfortable. You can have the LEFTovers, my unsuspecting roommate. Off to the pool for some well earned relaxation. Caution: gate opens to the LEFT, don’t try to walk through it. Look where you’re going! Pool is RIGHT in front of you! Turn LEFT, my LEFT, not your LEFT! Another LEFT, then RIGHT! Accident averted. Phew! I think we need to head RIGHT to the bar after that near tragedy. Uh oh! Double doors. How to handle this double whammy? Put out your RIGHT hand, now your LEFT. Push both doors and you’re through. Glad I didn’t have to do the figure out whose RIGHT and LEFT hand went where. That could have been embarrassing! Bar time! Down the stairs, use the RIGHT handrail. No accidents allowed before the drinking begins. Wine or beer? What’s RIGHT today? Take both and you can’t go wrong. Yours is on the RIGHT, mine is on the RIGHT? Whose RIGHT, you ask? I’m so confused I don’t have a clue which is my RIGHT and which is your RIGHT. So just find a glass and drink until there is nothing LEFT. After a hard day of having fun, it’s soon off to bed, alone or not, your choice, and sleep well. We start this whole RIGHT-LEFT, LEFT-RIGHT thing over again tomorrow!
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 00:43:07 +0000
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