This week I learned that a friend from high school had lost his battle with cancer. We werent close,....even back then,....and high school was a long time ago....were just FB friends now. He contacted me a couple of weeks ago to tell me he was starting his second round of treatment and he wished me well with my radiation. I didnt know he was sick before then. It came as a complete surprise. He was positive and upbeat and he was fighting the fight with a determined attitude. Cancer wasnt going to take him. I was shocked when I heard that he had passed away last weekend. Even though, until just recently, we hadnt spoken in years, hearing of his death struck me like a ton of bricks. I cried when I heard the news and I cry now as I remember the numbness I felt and still feel. Why do I feel so numb?....we were hardly aquaintances.... we werent a part of each others lives....why am I crying? Get a grip Kimberley, for Gods sake why the heck are you crying? Just days before he died he shared a video that I had posted of my 3 German Shepherds running and playing together. I had cut it from footage Id shot on our off leash walk that day. I added music, slowed sections down, made it fun and posted it on my page. When I saw that he shared it to his FB wall I figured he was keeping himself entertained while going through treatment,...now I wonder if it brought a smile to his face. God....I hope it made him smile... For some reason knowing it made him smile is really important to me and Im not sure why. Maybe its because I cant stand the thought of someone slowly losing their fight with a disease that theyd sworn to beat, or maybe because I didnt know what words to say when he told me he was sick, so perhaps my silly video made up for that. As you may have noticed,...I dont deal with death well. Given what we do on investigations, many might find that odd. I know everyone has their own storyline to follow in life, and that the when and the why things happen are a mystery to us. Itll probably remain a mystery to me until I get there myself,...then all will be revealed! That wont stop me from trying to find answers in the meantime though. Even if I lack the words to express myself, if theres one trait I do have, its the ability to constantly spin my wheels and only get a few inches ahead despite a maximum effort expended. So Ill be spinning my wheels from here on out...trying to find the answers to the questions I have. The questions many people have. They want answers....I want answers.... I really hope he smiled. God speed Clayton... Light and Love from Halifax, N.S.
Posted on: Fri, 27 Jun 2014 05:30:59 +0000
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