This week in the Supreme Court: “Coca-Cola, under its Minute Maid brand [un-ironically titled: “Pomegranate Blueberry”] created a juice blend containing 99.4% apple and grape juices, 0.3% pomegranate juice, 0.2% blueberry juice, and 0.1% raspberry juice,” according to the supreme justice of Anthony Kennedy. POMEGRANATE!!! BLUEBERRY!!!, 0.3%, 0.2%? Respectively? I believe that is referred to as a trace amount, not a description of content. And the percentage of insect parts and rodent detritus in Minute Maid? You don’t need to know (don’t worry about it: you failed Chemistry, admit it, Coke knows that too!!). Hence, from this day forth (25%?), by Coke standards, I declare myself: 100% man (and 0.3% pomegranate juice and 80.5% ape – you do the math!)! And 100% chlorine! And 180% refined sugar! And half a league! Whatever: if Coca-Cola say it’s true, it is true! Let the shopper deny! God knows what’s in my Coke...
Posted on: Sun, 29 Jun 2014 00:45:26 +0000
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