Those who know me close have watched me go on an emotional roller coaster of late, while I admit it has been really hard, scary even at sometimes, I wanted to take a minute to share what I have managed to learn through this mess. Being able to talk to a select through about whats really going on behind my doors and seeking information has been a huge help to me and without out I wouldnt be bouncing back. It is true that the most seemingly unlovable people are the ones who need the love the most. The happiest people, the ones who succeed the most, are those who can find the strength to forgive. Have the wisdom not to forget but to learn, have the clarity to look for different perspective in the cloudiest situation. You can choose not to be bitter after being hurt. Just as with the two wolves proverb, the wolf you feed is the wolf who wins. It is easy to hate some one who has hurt you. Often the people who hurt do so because they are hurt them selves, devoid of empathy, searching for some way to gain back control -( narcissist). Dont become like them, look instead for compassion and understanding -which does take strength- and walk away and stop their supply. Some one who relies on the admiration of others has a false ego and is deeply insecure. They get a false sense of happiness and power in controlling the reactions of others around them through seeking pity, admiration and the like. They can consume your thoughts, without you even realising and thus affect and control you in everyday life. Eventually they cause chaos and self destruct. Dont waste energy on feeding into their games. Dont let it become your nature to manipulate also or seek revenge. The definition of insanity is to repeat the same process over and over and expect different results. Feeding somone with a malignant personality and expecting them to change will quite literally drive you crazy. You will find happiness in applying your energy to doing what you love, letting go, surrounding yourself with people who build you up and building them up in return. Take time out to be alone with yourself, appreciate yourself as charachterised , not flawed. No I havent turned spiritual guru. Just found comfort in my thoughts and taking time for reflection after my very public emotional meltdown in the last few weeks. That should have been humiliating for me, but instead I am able to reflect gain clarity and decided to share. In 2 weeks without this sort of person in my life Ive learned more than in the months I spent being played into like a piece in a game of a chess. Now with my own space to breathe and my own thoughts in my head, I finally am starting to feel back in control and two steps ahead. As always I see no shame in admitting our mistakes, but rather to use them as tools for learning and ultimately, tools to help others learn and heal. Thankyou goes out to the friends and family who supported me and comforted me while I went through this. For giving me space and likewise a shoulder when I needed it. For ultimately helping me see this and demanding I did not give in or give up! Xxx
Posted on: Sun, 10 Aug 2014 00:18:27 +0000
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