Thoughts To Share Over the years I have been asked where I learned to Pray in Saulteaux at certain feasts and such. I grew up with my Grandmother only talking the language and I was so thankful because there is a certain kind of comfort that cant be described. I only feel that when Im painting...thats why I stubbornly hide my work. In my younger years I was living in Regina, I had only my oldest son and that time was very difficult for me...searching for my own path. I was staying with my oldest brother and painting in the basement. I was sketching images of my memories of my Grandmother.....most were of her Praying...doing things...hanging meat to dry...Beading....Smudging...making bannock...cleaning and preparing meat. Making soup and making beautiful music with her soft footsteps. I remember sketching for nights because I was trying to figure out what to do with my life. I was 21 at the time. During that period I rested my Soul on these sketches and it helped me get past the difficult time in my Artist Soul. I am not a person who seeks help from anyone...always was like that. I can only depend on my Art to seek my healing... I met many remarkable people but am stubborn to advise... I really have to Respect someone to get to that place because I was grown up with people in my Family that lived a life like no other... Im sure other people have been through that too. I on the other hand have become quite Humbled by life and am not impressed easily by new ways... I guess that explains my life today. Its a way of life....its living with dignity and even at my lowest moments I have lived by that....to proud some may think? But not too me because Pride has taught me to live for yourself...its a survival tool... It comes from a place of being in this world and learning how to look myself in the mirror and say...at least you can survive with your own skills...I have no shame in it either because it gave me thick skin to the point of being tender inside. Its given me compassion to see past my own problems and help someone else. Its amazing how many times I have been thankful as a child I have eaten out of a garbage bin...because it given me more to be thankful... At the time I didnt see it at that...but it had a reason...just as I have more reason to live my life in my own skin. Conditioning the Soul requires Hardship and Ive learned to embrace it and learn from its beauty. This is why it was so important to learn what my Grandmother taught me....When I was that boy child at 21 looking for a purpose in my young mans size 9 shoe size...I was going on a path of uncertainty...which I learned to call My Mystery... My grandmother I was sketching saw me and came to my Dreams every night for 4 months and taught me one word...She said...your going to need this...not for you...for everyone you leave to come here. That was my training....and its been my salvation till this day....her last message was....I want you to burn those things you drew....because Im not there....Im here and anytime you want me there...Pray....its that easy This message I share is real... I thought of it because this morning...after I fell asleep I woke up to a Hawk in my l living room as I left the screen door open....very real and beautiful. I dont need nothing....all your glory and all your toil is merely someone elses belief. Please dont tell me how to live or give me advise....Im doing fine on my own...and Im sure your doing fine on your own too... With or without me... Its called Respect.
Posted on: Sun, 01 Jun 2014 23:20:56 +0000
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