Three lessons from my parents that have endured - My Mother taught me that a lazy man works the hardest... and the lesson was never so evident than when as a child she asked me to take out the trash. Begrudgingly and in a hurry to go play in a pickup basketball game, I grabbed all 3 bags and tried to quickly carry them out all at once to get the chore over with and to make it to the game in time to be chosen for a team. One of the bags burst wide open, spilling onto the driveway and it took another 10 minutes to clean up. I wasnt chosen for the team I wanted to be on that day. My laziness in trying to get it done all at once (instead of done right) made sure that and I had to work twice as hard to clean up the mess. My father taught me that it was never O.K. to hit a woman... NEVER and that real men not only never hit women, but that real mean never let other men hit women. He emphasized the point by saying that even if it were him, he would expect me to defend the woman undyingly (I think spankings were an exception). Several times in my previous careers I did have to intervene to women getting threatened, punched, drop kicked and yanked by the hair. In all cases, the perpetrators paid a much heavier price than they expected. In most cases, and out of fear, they were later defended by those women. Knowing that would probably be the case, never caused me to wane from the lesson my father had taught me. So Janay Rices defense of Ray doesnt surprise me. The only thing surprising was with the unconscious brutal effort in which she was attacked, telling me it was not the first time and probably not the last. It brings to mind a third important lesson that both parents taught me. That it takes a village to raise a child. As members of a community, all of us-including Ray, Janay and the NFL have a responsibility to future daughters, mothers and sisters to never let domestic violence or even the threat of it be OK under any circumstances. The initial video of him dragging her out of the elevator and non-challantly plopping her on the floor shouldve been message enough for the NFL. If other detailed reports coming to light of NFL security and Ravens management having earlier access to the video are true and the video was suppressed for deniability, then heads should roll within the NFL. They owe that to the community - not as the perpetrator - but as those that stood by and did little in the face of the violence. It takes more than putting on pads and carrying a football in a rough sport to be a real man. It takes understanding your entire role within the community - not as a celebrity, not as a business organization - but more pointedly, as men.
Posted on: Sat, 20 Sep 2014 16:32:33 +0000
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