To make things clear : I am not.. i repeat NOT suicidal. :) i love my job. i miss my children, but I do have chim with me daily. I have a wonderful man in my life whom i do not fight with, and he makes me smile at the most awkward and sad of times. I just get sad every now and again, and in my opinion, because i am clinically depressed, theres nothing wrong with me thinking about it. contemplating it. wondering what the world would be like without me in it. but talking , typing, venting.. makes me feel better. i also think im going through early menopause.. (FK THAT CRAP.. but unfortunately it might true, so my emotions are all over the place) but you have no idea how much getting it out of my system, literally gets it out of my system. I have not attempted anything since november of 2013. that was the very last time, because i saw the sheer look of anger, disappointment, sadness and disgust in my childrens faces, let alone their girlfriends. I find happiness in weird places. in buying others little things (april is currently spoiled) making sure Sergio had a good birthday, having Larvin stop by out of no where and playing uno. knowing i helped Natalie by putting a roof over her head. See? i know im needed. i just like to vent. in a public forum. cuz i dont care who knows it :) but that doesnt mean you have to worry.. venting is good for me. ask Dawnmarie. ive written some big stuffs over the years (https://facebook/notes/renee-frye/broken/104378689346)
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 20:42:06 +0000
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