Today I also had a detailed talk with one of our female friends about bride price here. Its more complex and community focused than the old concept of a dowry I had in mind. I explained our modern, dowry free, system along with the idea of divorce settlements and how they led to creating pre nuptial contracts. There was some shock. In bride price scenarios, the price is based on what the person brings to the tribe and family. Which makes sense because the community may well be crowdfunding the price. Giving is also based on what has been given in the past and a network of gift giving and favors act as a form of long term loan. They also strongly encourage not being a greedy anti social prick, because what goes around comes around. Here, there has to be trust in the product from the community before the price us paid and the deal sealed. By contrast, our system back home has mutated into saying, essentially, I love you, but I dont trust you. Its also pretty much a solo choice, unless things go bad and then the community hopefully helps you pick up the pieces. Here, there is a sort of common law trial period where brides are evaluated before a price is set. Education, work ethic, and any children produced in the trial phase are contributing factors to the price. Essentially, the community gauges the candidates potential and actual contributions. The only thing we have like this back home is internships which may lead to placement within a company. It was weird to think we put all that structure and hoopla into work forces, but not into community building and relationships.
Posted on: Fri, 01 Nov 2013 07:02:46 +0000