Today I am going in to have my lap band removed and converted to a gastric sleeve. I had the lap band placed four years ago and for the first two years had success. I got down to a decent size, but shortly after became sick. I began gaining weight at a rapid pace and I was in and out of the hospital/emergency room quite a bit for the last two years. It took some time to figure that there was an issue with my band and that was causing the increased high bp and cardiac issues. Fortunately, I had doctors that did not stop until they figured out was causing my body to react the way it was. For that I am grateful. My weight has never been an issue with me. I was teased in high school through my first pregnancy about how anorexic I looked to being teased about how pleasantly plump I have become. I always joke about whatever weight I have been, not to cover up some shame, but because it is who I am. My students would get super upset when I made fat jokes and would say, Mrs. Varnam, why are you down on yourself, youre beautiful. I understood where they were coming from, but I would always respond, I know I am beautiful. I never said I wasnt beautiful. I am just fat. While I still believe that, you may ask, so why the surgery. It is because I am not healthy. I have thrown up so much over the last two years, that my body is reacting in such a way that I feel sick all the time. I am a little nervous about this surgery. Usually, I am ok about things like this, but today, I am nervous. I honestly do not care about my size. I just want to be able to eat and feel good afterwards. I want to eat and not throw up. I want to eat and my body absorb the nutrition from that food. I just want to feel better. Please keep me in your prayers.
Posted on: Fri, 12 Dec 2014 14:28:01 +0000
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