Today, I am grateful and mindful for and of so much, especially as I reflect on the passing of Phillip Seymour Hoffman - an incredible artist who gave his gift to us all and at the end, perhaps was overtaken by his humanity. I often wonder about their lives; these artists and other luminaries that live on the glossy sheets of our society. Shiny paper veneers. Words that are often misquoted, misunderstood, misplaced in the context of their real lives. I think it must be so hard to live in the public eye. To be held to a standard that is really impossible because in many ways, our photoshop society often requires them to be superhuman, with the same glossies exaggerating their every flaw, with no regard to the pain that might be caused. Sometimes these same stars are treated inhumanely. I said on Friday at my event, that I dont believe in gurus. Perhaps because I am daily confronted with the limitations of my own humanity. Some are public, like the extra twelve or so pounds gained recently by allowing the overwhelm and the physical fatigue of low iron to keep me sedentary. And it shows in photos and I cringe when I see them. Some are far more private. Never really spoken of, except to God in my quiet times. When I think about Mr Hoffman, perhaps being pulled under by his struggles, my heart bleeds. Because at the core of addiction is unresolved pain, I think. And artists, all artists, feel things more deeply, indeed they must, to transform the ordinary into the sublime. And it is precisely that feeling that puts them at risk. To be pulled under. When someone dies, despite all our clucking and pontificating and even our crying, we cannot do anything else but keep living as we remember. We say goodbye to their person, even as we create a memorial to their presence and we in turn say hello to another day in our lives. So today as I find a way to bid adieu to a man whose artistry touched me, I pledge again to live, to cry, to give, to pray and to take care of myself, the best way I know how and to ask for help when I cant. And to be more compassionate to the other travelers on this earth, for we all have our struggles.
Posted on: Mon, 03 Feb 2014 15:01:38 +0000