Today I said goodbye to the sweet boy Ive been doing life with for close to a year. He must have known it was coming because his hugs got longer, his kisses sweeter, and I swear his I wuv yous multiplied!! He helped me heal from my past and prepare me for my future. What a season of abundant grace Ive been walking in! Ill miss being called Wexus, it was almost like that was truly the name my momma gave me after hearing it all day every day. And hes the first person that ever referred to me as Mommy-- thats an indescribable moment in itself. Ill miss waking up in the middle of the night just to check if hes breathing, and to always steal a kiss on his little forehead. Ill miss bedtime prayers, before school prayers, dinner time prayers, and bath time prayers. Ill miss him leading our prayers. Ill miss my early morning wake up calls filled with songs (sometimes even a dance) and the start of our 900 question days. Ill miss racing--- racing cars, racing at dinner, racing on foot. Ill miss holding his little hand. Ill miss his grin, onrey but Ill miss it. And that laugh- theres none quite like his. Ill miss his voice, accent, and singing. He showed me how deep my need is for Gods grace every day. He showed me what real love looks like-- that its hard, exhausting, unconditional, heartbreaking, and that it will drive you nuts-- but that its worth it, its here to stay, its real, its pure, and its true. He deepened my dependence on Jesus. He reminded me that Im never in control and am crazy ridiculous for ever thinking so! He reminded me how precious my parents are, and how much I should treasure them through and through. He reminded me that the words I speak are a direct reflection of my heart. And that a clean house doesnt mean a clean heart--heart nurturing is a necessity. Ill miss clipping his toe nails, cutting his hair, brushing his teeth, shopping for his clothes, cooking him dinner, and even wiping his snot! (And that is saying a lot coming from me) He reminded me that serving is never about myself, always about Jesus. He brought forth my weakness, insecurities and selfishness-- and made me face them head on day in and day out. He reminded me of the importance and power of prayer. He taught me everything I know about superheroes!! Ill miss seeing who he desires to save and conquer. And Ill even miss his sound effects. Ill miss holding him- when hes tired, sick, or just because. Ill miss hearing him talk to every single person we see in Walmart, asking them how they are and if they go to church. And the list could go on... Oh sweet boy, take that kind heart with you every where you go-- conquer the world! And dont forget to tote that silly, goofy sense of humor along with it. Keep loving deep and being bold. You make me SO proud! A part of me wishes I could take whats important, put it in a box, and send it with you. Like when you get upset, remind you to breathe. To never yell, unless youre cheering someone on positively. To always use your manners. To be a true gentleman. To always tell the truth, even if it gets you in trouble. To love Jesus with your whole heart. To share the gospel. To be a kind friend. To forgive quickly. To be a giver. To love deep. And so much more.... But thats what this pouring into your heart thing has been this past year. Thank You Lord for that opportunity! Thank You sweet boy for letting me love on you. I trust that God will continually keep you and shine His face upon you. That He will remind you of His goodness and mercy and that He will hold you close. I love you so very much. And Im so grateful our hearts desires were fulfilled, our longest prayers answered---on this day you reunite with your family!!!! A day Ill never forget as long as I live, by far one of my favorites ever. To my family, friends and any other person involved in this part of my life--THANK YOU for loving us through this season. Thank you for your prayers, understanding, and support. I could not do this life without you and am so privileged to. Thank you for investing in us in your own ways. You, each and every one of you, bless me BIG! And God-- oh You.... I sit in a puddle of happy tears because You have covered this all in Your extreme grace and love. Ive come to know Your heart for the broken a little better through this season. Your timing is perfect, even when we fought it. Your wisdom is beautiful. Your story of redemption leaves me breathless. Its because of You I am here, it is because of You this is my journey, it is all because of You. Thank You Father! Thank You for loving me passionately enough to let me live my desire out and gently teach me while holding my hand and heart along the way. Only You know every detail. May You receive the glory and honor that You are due. This is a piece of my Ephesians 3:20 story. Cant wait to see what God writes next!!!!!!
Posted on: Wed, 08 Oct 2014 01:53:55 +0000
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