Today, PNW enlightened chat degraded into movie quote ingress spoofs. Enjoy. (And try to guess which ones mine.) #ingress Is this a burster that I see before me? Trigger toward my scanner? Come, let me be acquire thee. I have thee not, and yet I see thee still. Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible to feeling as to sight? Or art thou but an XMP of the mind, a false creation, proceeding from the XM-fevered brain? This is my scanner. There are many like it, but this one is mine... Double, double toil and trouble; scanner pulse and smurftears puddle... This is my scanner, this is my phone. This is for fighting, this is for fun Son, we live in a world that has portals, and those portals have to be linked by agents with keys. Whos gonna do it? You!? Mr. Smurf. After very careful consideration, Ive come to the conclusion that your fielding sucks. I am the architect. I fielded over you. You may have many questions, and although the process has enlightened your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. I love the smell of Bursters in the morning! You know, one time we had a portal bombed for 12 hours. When it was all over I walked up. We didnt find one of em, not one stinkin Resistance body. The smell. You know, that XMP smell? The whole hill smelled like... (sniffing the air)...victory. It is by XM alone I set my scanner in motion. It is by the juice of Shapers that portals acquire resonators, the links acquire fields, fields become a warning. It is by XM alone I set my scanner in motion. I know what youre thinkin. Did he fire six bursters or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, Ive kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a level 8 burster, the most powerful burster in the world, and would blow your resinator clean off the portal, youve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk? He who controls the portals, CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE! I fart in your general direction. Your portal was a hamster and your resinators smelt of elderberries. I must not COMM butthurt. Butthurt is the game-killer. Butthurt is the little-death that brings total mockery and jeers. I will face my butthurt I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the butthurt has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain I wanted to see exotic portals, the jewel of ingress. I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of the resistance, and kill them. Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my resonator. Prepare to die Oh, and this one time, at foxys, I stuck a mod in my portal... You dont understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I couldve been somebody, instead of a Smurf, which is what I am. I want you to round up every vicious level 8 and above in the West. Take this down: I want portal-rustlers, cut-links, murderers, field hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nit-wits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Resistence agents, Smurf bandits, muggers, buggerers, bush-whackers, horn-swagglers, horse-thieves, bull-dykes, train-robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists! Ha, ha, ha, ha! As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a toad. To me, being a toad was better than being President of the United States You know how to field dont you Smurf. You just link your portals together and go. If you field it, they will come. Of all the portals in all the towns in the world, she deploys on mine. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once at the number three, being the third number to be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Ultra Strike of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it. Momma always said life was like hacking a portal, you never know what youre gonna get.
Posted on: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 02:04:50 +0000
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