Today The Love Doctor been asked his opinion on this real life situation. Love Dr, Here is a situation that you probably are going to not believe because when I think about it I dont believe I am apart of it. Well here it goes, I am a 23 year old woman, who for the last 4 years have been sleeping with my Mothers husband of 7yrs. I have a 2 yr old little girl who he is the father of, but of course nobody knows that he is. They think its my ex-boyfriends, but I explained to him that she wasnt his-despite him wanting her to be. I know you are wondering how, what, when, why and to be quite honest I dont know? All I know is he and my mother were dating off and on prior to them getting married and in the process he and I became close. I never saw him in THAT way, but he was always there for me when I needed him and he actually bought me a new Lexus for a graduation present. My mother was a little blown away at first, but really didnt think it about it twice because a few months earlier he bought her a new Range Rover. If you dont realize by now that he is very wealthy. My mother married him for his money and she has confided in me she really does not love him. I know it may seem like I wanted him for his money too or he bought me -but its not even close to being the truth. He is a very good man with a generous and loving heart. He doesnt know how to tell my mother that he has fallen in love with me and that her grandchild is really her stepdaughter. I tested him a few times and he cried when I told him that we should break it off (before I had my daughter). We want to tell my mother everything, but scared it could worsen her health. She had a stroke a few years ago and he and her have not been intimate for almost 3 yrs(she and he told me). One of my 2 older brothers told me that my step-father looks at me strange and it makes him uncomfortable. He wanted to approach him and I had to convince him he was imagining things. I continuously have to stop my brother, because he is on parole and facing a 3rd strike which means he would go away for 20 years+. He has a very bad attitude and when it comes to our mother, he dont play. How do we tell my mother?my family? my brothers? I know our age difference of 18 yrs is not that big, but how do I continue to confuse my daughter by saying her daddy is her pa-pa??? signed, Family Matters --------------- Wow Family Matters!! You definitely have provided The Love Doctor with a difficult scenario, but fortunately for you I believe I can guide you through this storm. For starters it would be very counter-productive to ask why, how, what, & when because that time has passed and we have to deal with the immediate issues before us. Its time for full disclosure. 1. You must have a conversation with you stepfather/childs father and explain to him that no matter the outcome you guys cant continue this secret. This is a secret that it sounds like people could get hurt and/or end up in jail for a very long time. 2. You must sit EVERYONE down in the midst of level headed people who have some affiliation to your family; such as your most respected level-headed relative/relatives, close family/friends, family minister, family doctor, etc etc etc. When things get chaotic(which they will), that person will be the keeper of PEACE, based on the respect and the stature that they possess. People wont be too quick to snap in front of Big Momma, Pastor Jones, etc. Not to say they wont, you just have a better chance of keeping people from potential violent actions while they are present. 3. You must sit EVERYONE down in an environment of security and safety; such as in a church, police station, courthouse, etc,etc, etc. This would provided some sense of people most likely NOT going off. This is definitely going to be a situation in which emotions are going to run high and you want to minimize the possibility of illegal reactions based on the setting. 4. When telling everyone, you guys must not attempt to make excuses for your actions or blame your mother or anyone else, you must explain that it happened and has been happening and that your daughter is by him. You must be humble and respectful regardless of the reactions you receive. You must understand that the majority of the reactions are not going to be positive, but if you follow #2 & #3, it should remain civil. 5. Lastly, you must ask for forgiveness and voice what your plans are for the immediate future. You must decide if you guys are going to continue seeing each other and he is going to seek a divorce from your mom or you are going to stop seeing each other and allow him and your mother to sort out their relationship. Either way you must be on the same page prior to disclosing your actions to everyone, because they are definitely going to want to know whats next. In conclusion, The Love Doctor wants to Thank you Family Matters for having enough confidence in him to disclose your issues and for giving him a chance to guide you through this dilemma. I want to wish you and your family the best and it is my Prayers everything works out for the best for all parties involved. I hope that my advice has been helpful and that you DO NOT deviate from any of my instructions, if you plan to implement it. The Love Doctor The Love Doctor wants EVERYONE who reads this to feel free to comment, like, and or share todays discussion. I want to encourage active dialogue on this letter because The Love Doctor has found that regardless of the likes, there are many people who read the Love Doctors advice. Your comments could bring clarity to the confused. Also, I encourage my family to continue sending The Love Doctor letters asking for his opinion.
Posted on: Tue, 29 Oct 2013 13:57:35 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015