Today is so emotional for me. I didnt realize in that sack daddy brought me were a stack of papers. Kept on plastic coating. Honorary discharge papers from Civil War to Vietnam and pics of my very handsome daddy in his Marie dress blues. And my long deceased papa Clint behind a machine gun in WW2. My other grampa, as Ive mention several times was a gunner in the Battle of the Bulge. My same great grampa who survived the civil war and ww1. Its a proud pill to swallow to know the family that loved ya so has so many things to be proud of. Im proud that I came from a long line of strong men AND women. ( just try telling mama she couldnt do something). I never understood why mama couldnt get passed the grief when my grandparents passed. Im not coping well losing one parent. I couldnt imagine losing both in a month. I would curl up in a ball. Yesterday was the first day I put myself together. Other than drinkin Friday. Its hard to pull yourself up. May sound silly. But, every time Im out here, sitting on the deck, like right now, I can feel mama hug my back. And telling me its ok. Mama was never ashamed of anything I did. She loved that I did burlesque and watched my routines. She carried a stack of my modeling pics with her when she went back to Georgia last Christmas and showed everybody. She loved all my ink and said it was beautiful. She loved me. She absolutely LOVED my daughter. Welp. I gotta put on that happy face and put myself together and head up to the school arraigning them for picture day. Memories are so great to have. But, its a Shame it took me 39 years to realize to savor each and every damned moment of your life. If I hug you and it lasts a little bit longer. Its because I love you. I said at mamas funeral. That when she loved you. She loved hard and with everything she had. Gotta carry on that legacy. Have a good day folks.
Posted on: Thu, 24 Oct 2013 13:15:41 +0000
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