Todays Big Smiley book 2, 11th. skit. I reckon this Sunday morning at 4:25 is my day to wake up fully alert for a change as if Ive enjoyed my recommended eight hours snooze under an electric blanket. My daughter Laura and the twins made her Dad and me happy by helping take care of all those abandoned cats and rescuing an elderly gentleman black lab who had been left at the Humane Society way too long for such a perfectly trained soul. Chapter 11 You would have thought that even a feeble minded, mid-life codger like Sheriff Simpodee would’ve learned to avoid a few mistakes, like the Clinton’s slap stick scandal that rocked his entire political party off its axis, especially while under the glare of bodyguards, but his learning potential had always been by hands on experience. Heidi Eckelbarsky caught his attention on a reckless driving while crying in a school zone, pull over. She was still wearing her Luke’s Auto Parts Warehouse, uniform, when she had been told that her fiancee, Chuck Foxx, (and she had his ring on her finger to prove the case) had escaped, after stealing their joint custody, six hundred dollar Yorkshire Terrier. Speedy Roadster was the smartest, most intelligent little, red haired critter, that ever skipped and skidded across a waxed floor, to hear her sniff talk it on a tearful jag. Ever since that fateful afternoon traffic stop, they had been seeing each other on the sly. The sheriff’s legal wedded helpmate and good cook, had always kept him on rather short ball and chain, but this time he managed to slip loose. His outta town cousin had traded him a series of computerized e-mail assassination threats to take him out of power, for a high level job position on his advisory staff; which was not meant to activate the whole security department, but should be alarming enough to send his wife out of harm’s way, to her sister’s place in southern Oklahoma. In his wildest trifling dreams of Heidi, he hadn’t taken the call of armed bodyguards seriously. He told Sweetness, if it wasn’t one thing it was another. And there on the a front page scoop of Wendale City Herald, staring him back at himself, with his muscled bare biceps wrapped passionately around a lusty forbidden bomb shell, in a queen size bed at Ferdinand’s Hotel Hollow. At once his scrappy reputation and both of the costly bodyguards had been recalled. About all that was left for him to say, was, “No comment,” and he hadn’t screwed up with the worst of it yet. His outraged woman was on a jet flight home, to stomp his butt, but good! Luke’s Auto Parts Warehouse had been looking for a just cause to fire Miss Elklebarsky. Lately she had picked up some bad habits, like calling in sick, not showing up on time and refusing to let the foreman insult her now that Chuck Foxx and the yorky were out the picture. Not to mention, she was completely fed up with Sheriff Simpodee’s Republican Campaign, so she wiped her angry tears on her final check stub, before she pulled out of the parking lot onto the highway. Right at the moment the very last thing she needed was to be stopped again for reckless driving while crying in a damn school zone. At the Democrat Headquarters Heidi was welcomed like a long lost friend, as though Luigi St. and Gogo Dicky had been waiting impatiently for her to come on in and get re-registered as a Democrat. It may have taken a whole passel of these degenerates to help her recover from the brief encounter with the law. No one blamed her for that disgraceful scene plastered across the front page of the newspapers. Nevertheless, she was dripping tears again, pleading for mercy, “Stop being so nice to me,” she wept, “I can’t take it.” On their day off work from the mink farm, Glen, Mary Ann and Browny always visited the Democrat Headquarters. That’s when Glen was able to explain to Heidi, how dropping their Nobama protest signs and adopting Browny had totally turned their luck around. She cashed her check and counted all of her money. Then decided that she could afford to move out of the small cottage behind her landlady’s home, put her stuff in storage and still have enough left to pay the adoption fees on another pet at the highly recommended Wendale Aminal Welfare. The minute she was living in was now— the harsh glare of any future prospects was way beyond her means. But right after she unloaded the trash bags, containing her best plunder at the 24 hour storage place, she stopped to donate a few odd things that she really had no further use for, to the Salvation Army thrift shop. There, the manager was feeding a puppy with an eye dropper. Several customers were waiting in line, so Heidi offered to help out. A little while later she walked away with a can of powered formula, a bottle of fresh spring water, the eye dropper and a warm and fuzzy puppy, snuggled fast asleep in a basket. Since the adoption hadn’t cost her anything, she mailed off the final car payment on her Subaru. Then she slipped back inside the storage unit, with the sliding metal door open part way, and piled up on a blanket bag, to rest her eyes for a while. A security guard woke them up. “Nobody can spend the night here,” he apologized, “I’m sorry.” He did allow her to feed the puppy again before she was ushered out of the safety gate. Mostly to pass time, the castoff stalled at a lighted service station where she filled the gas tank. She asked for the key to the women’s restroom and put Baby, as she called him, on the clean tile floor; and, like a big kid, the little tike went weewee and made a healthy bowel movement. She was quick to wipe up after him. In the parking lot of McDonald’s, Sonny recognized the undeniable signs of distress. What with his street smarts and experiences, he still wasn’t quite sure how to approach the young lady who had made yesterday’s headlines without scaring her off the dark edge of danger, danger . To her, he looked like a hungry freeloader huddled in the shadows. So she bought him a cheeseburger and an ice cold soft drink from her dwindling cash flow. He said, “For me?” “Why not.” And that’s how, to her surprise, he was able to lead another unemployed, homeless person and her hand full of good luck puppy to the carpet company safe house; where she met the teenage mother who had tried to save her washing machine and a load of their best clothes from the eviction enforcement cops. Lesley pulled up another strip of carpet, without disturbing the snoozing toddlers; and in the dim night light, began to whisper and show Heidi the ropes. An older woman set the large coffee pot to perk. In a crackling voice she started talking, “You know what this carpet company community reminds me of? About thirty years ago a bunch of television preachers decided they were living in the last days. Some of them thought they were having a re-run of the day of Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit swept over the Lord’s apostles. A few sold everything they owned to stock up on basic food supplies and camping equipment and headed for the hills to wait for Jesus to make the next move. And there were those who got tired of waiting and tried to rush things up by committing a suicidal massacre. I could not imagine how society could get much worse, but here we are…. “Last night Rush Limbaugh, the bobble head walrus, frothing at the mouth, while he rolls around in his chair, expressing his hatred for President Obama. May I add, without a shred of provocation. “Mitt Romney shouts that the Republicans should be proud of the rich and ashamed of the poor. They take offence that Obama’s father was not born in the United States, but neither was Romney’s. If Romney, the Tax shirk and the jobs Ouch Sourcer of Bain Capital, made a blind trust fortune off the working stiffs, is not responsible, then who is, pray tell?”
Posted on: Sun, 23 Nov 2014 11:51:49 +0000
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