Toledo AGUACALYPSE Journal, Day 2: I found myself watching - TopicsExpress

Toledo AGUACALYPSE Journal, Day 2: I found myself watching Waterworld last night, commiserating with those characters surrounded by water they couldnt drink. When I option the movie rights to my story, Im not sure if Id rather my part be played by Kevin Costner or Dennis Hopper. I have founded the Toledo, Ohio branch of the Eddie Money Fan Club, and have petitioned the city to make Gimme Some Water a required song at all public events. I have started carrying the straw from a Capri Sun with me at all times. Not only can I defend myself with its needle-sharp tip, I can also drain the precious liquids from my attackers. With the cooperation of local law enforcement, I have seized all water balloons in the city. Ladies and gentlemen, we have finally found the WMDs. As a practical measure, I have begun to dig a well in the corner of my kitchen. I checked and re-checked my lease for any verbiage barring excavation, and believe I should be in the clear. Once I got through the tile and sub-flooring, things began to progress nicely. Am currently embroiled in a legal battle with my upstairs neighbors over water and mineral rights. At church this morning, I found myself squeezing hands a bit longer during the sign of peace, trying to decide who was the juiciest. I have enrolled in several dating sites to secure long-term water security. When the sites asked what I look for in a mate, I indicated low sulfur content and artesian spring in backyard. I was amazed that these were selectable options from the drop-down menus on all sites but Christianmingle. Get with the times, people. Well-hydrated and in high spirits, I am hoping we soon reach the day when the city asks us all to flush our toilets continuously for an hour to clear the lines. Until then, I will be proactively flushing my toilet anyway, because the sound of it amuses me.