Tomorrow will be one year since we found at that we were pregnant - TopicsExpress



          

Tomorrow will be one year since we found at that we were pregnant with little Eli. I remember the day so clearly, which is funny because I have a terrible memory. It was a Tuesday, and I remember buying pregnancy tests on the way home from work with the intention of taking one when I woke up the following morning. I had absolutely no will power or patience and took the test as soon as I got home from the store. It was positive and I could hardly wait to share the news, but after having a second trimester miscarriage only 6 months prior, I knew that I needed to keep it to myself for some weeks. I told Leo right away of course, but I remember needing to tell my mom as well. I decided I was going to go surprise her and pick her up from work as she normally took the bus home, and I could then share my news. I could hardly contain myself as she got into my car and I was so excited that I just blurted it out. I remember so clearly the look on her face and the words that she spoke. She looked at me with the most joyous smile and said with such excitement, “ Alright!! You know, when I saw you standing in the lobby I was hoping you were here to tell me some good news. I just had this feeling that you were here to tell me this.” She then gave me a hug. I would kill for one of her hugs right now. Little did I know that within weeks of that moment we would find out she had cancer and only a couple of months left to live. I am so glad I got to share that news with her that day, and so glad as scary as it was that we had a scare early on in our pregnancy and were able to find out we were having a boy so I could share that news with her as well. She would have loved Eli like crazy. I cannot describe the emptiness I have because of her absence in our lives, but at the same time the utmost gratitude for the friendship we were able to form in recent years. What a blessing she was to my little family. Adeline talks about her nearly every day, and I am so grateful for the memories she has of her and for all of the time she was able to spend with her. The loss is still so raw after all of these months, but amidst all of it, I have such a peace that I know can only come from God. Today I am feeling blessed far beyond what I deserve.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 00:22:47 +0000

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