Tonight my eyes hurt. Crying sucks. While it feels good to let go and get it all out - the following headache and eye pain are annoying. Lil P is behind in her school work. Again. Not because she cant understand it - she just can not keep things together and turn them in. She just isnt doing all the work. Last year we hit a wall when the Poetry unit came around. This year she was a rock star in Language Arts - until now. The unit… Poetry. Kills me because I LOVE poetry. I get that she is a concrete thinker, that creative writing is a tough thing for her. She DOES get the mechanics. The definitions. Tonight I even did the physical writing for her while she instructed me what to write. The worst part. I hate what homework does to our house. I hate sitting on her to get things done. The constant redirection. Every two minutes. That is NOT an exaggeration. I hate the fight. I hate that it consumes our entire evening. I hate the person I become. The therapist suggests that I disengage when temper rises. Thats great - but then the productivity ends. If the homework doesnt get done the assumption at school is that she doesnt understand the concept and can not maintain the pace of the class. Her grades are suffering. Especially in one class. Tonight I asked her what was going on. She responded I cant do it. I asked her what it was that she couldnt do. She said she understood the material, but that she couldnt keep all the papers straight - and turn things in when they were due. I have discussed organization with the school A LOT. I dont know what else to do. I dont know how to help her. Do I let her get kicked out of the classes she is in and be in the gen ed classes next year? Redoing much of what she has down this year? Then the battle will be I already did this last year. While she is on the spectrum she is crazy wicked smart. She is in the gifted program. And has tested into the extended Language Arts and Math classes. However, she has to maintain certain criteria for those classes. She is barely hanging in there as far as grades go. Some people get really wrapped up in their kids being in certain classes. I dont. If she had the intelligence of a rock - I would be fine with that - as long as she was reaching her potential. Im tired. SOmetimes I get so tired of the battle. I just dont know if I can keep it all together and keep going. I do. I will. I love her. But sometimes I am empty. So empty my eyes hurt because there are no tears left to cry.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Mar 2014 02:10:23 +0000
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