Tonight was the first time Ive been in church for a regular service in months....in fact, 6 months. I have struggled spiritually in these past months more than I ever have in my life. That struggle was not because I wondered if GOD existed. It wasnt because I wondered if he loved me. It wasnt because I questioned my faith in HIM. Without going into details, it was simply because of the actions of several people within my life. It started with one thing that was done that hurt & angered me.....then it snowballed into several other people doing the same thing. One in particular I put on a pedestal. This person hurt me to the core of who I was. I was hurt, disappointed, shocked, angry, sad, grieved. I felt victimized (& thats NOT something I felt since I left my Ex-husband) you name it, I felt it. Maybe those feels werent warranted, maybe they were-- but that was how I feIt. I felt like I was done with any church for the most part. I know that going to church doesnt make you a Christian anymore then NOT going to church doesnt make you one.....that corse of events & actions just reinforced that to me. I have thrown myself into work & because I travel a lot I was able to make excuses to people when they ask where Ive been. Just super busy I always said. That wasnt a lie, Im ALWAYS busy-- but I should NEVER be too busy for God or to learn about him. I have continued to struggle with feelings and with forgiveness all this time.....& I would be lying if I said Im at 100%.....but Im trying to get there. The point I am making by this post is that I want to share what I learned in all this.....although I have learned many things, the biggest thing I learned is: Be sure that you arent putting more faith in a person or in people then you are in GOD. Make sure ALL your faith is in GOD & your Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. People are going to let you down, hurt you, make you angry, make you sad, victimize you, grieve you.....but God & his son Jesus will NEVER forsake you, they will never let you down, they will never hurt you. They love you unconditionally. People are human, they arent perfect & it doesnt matter how strong a Christian they are or you believe they are they arent perfect or flawless. You cant expect them to be, because if you do youre going to end up where I was....extremely hurt & extremely disappointed. Tonight is the first step back to what I believe will be an even stronger walk with God. Ive got a long way to go, but Im headed in the right direction.....again. Thank you to the people who helped me through this, loved me regardless of my decisions & feelings & for praying nonstop for me. They know who they are. And thank you Jesus for your unconstitutional love! ❤️
Posted on: Thu, 20 Nov 2014 03:34:34 +0000
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